crackmonkeys

Wham-O!

2011-05-08T12:03:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I may have JUST realized that I had not yet wrapped up my captainly duties with a blog post… as if you needed any more proof that captaining the troops isn’t exactly my strong suit. Good thing turning nouns into verbs, adverbs and adjectives is though!

Anyhow, I am struggling to remember highlights of last week’s game a whole seven days later, but there are a few things I am sure of. It was a rainy cold night, we didn’t suck, Mike has some serious slip’n’slide skills, we got some solid hits, people crossed home plate, I did not successful break-up with Westfield by offing him with my foul ball, we won and Conner Voss is one sound sleeper! Craptaculious weather aside, I would say Chocolate Crack Thunder’s Monkeys Revenge looked good out there, way to go kids!

As the sprit hat of captainship passes to Voss Man tonight, I trust we will have a monkey of a good time with our usual thunderous showing on the field with all of its chocolatety revenge.

Oh yea, and one last thing… the next time you see Beef out make sure to get her some pineapple tequila, it is her favorite!

Captainship Assignments....

2011-04-27T08:45:00.002-05:00

April 17- Mike
May 1- Liz
May 8- Vossman
May 15- Professor Vossman
May 22- Micki
June 5- Derek
June 12- Michelle Ryan
June 19- Doctor Cappa
June 26- Jamie
July 10- Big Poppa
July 17- Ann Voss?/Lisa Castang
July 24- Rick Raven
July 31- Glenneth vs. Nutz.

Postseason....we'll figure that out later. Discuss.

GOTM XII

2011-01-19T18:31:00.002-06:00

It is has been a minute since we have had a post here. So I thought I would toss something up.

There will be grilling and there will be meat.....also I think there is a football game.

Stay tuned....

G

Thank you.

2010-08-30T10:20:00.002-05:00

We finished in a tie for first. And by the current system of tiebreakers, and one horribly bad call by an umpire, we don't get jackets by two runs. Two...flipping...runs.

Our party is scheduled for October 23rd. Anyone who reads this, we hope you can come.

Glenn and I came up with this stupid name for a video game football team while we were in college. It was just a stupid reaction to a stupid monkey on a cereal box. It has evolved to so much more.

I'm incredibly proud of what the Crackmonkeys have become. We have friends and alumni throughout the country, and we all still stay in touch. When Glenn and I first put together a softball team, we just wanted to be competitive, but make sure enjoying each other's company was priority number one. I think we've continued to do that.

Like any other family, there have been squabbles. There have also been, and will continue to be, lifetime friendships.

I have a tattoo on my left hip of the Crackmonkeys "CM" logo. It's not because of the fact that I play softball with a bunch of people who I like. It's because the people who I like, care about, and have helped me become the person I am, also play softball. Many are no longer in Champaign-Urbana, but I think the Satkuses, Walls, Campbells, and many others know that they were a part of a really unique thing, and one that created a loving and nurturing atmosphere.

Our current team was a unique one. By the end of the year, every player on the field enjoyed the company of women. Who would have thought that would happen. Well...probably Glenn.

As the defacto captain over the last 8-9 years of both our volleyball and softball teams, I want to say thank you to all of the people who have played. It has meant the world to me. More than I can ever really articulate. It has been my constant. I could always count on this group of people to be there, week in, and week out. Not just for the game, but for friendship, for a shoulder to cry on, for support.

So I say thank you. You all have touched me in an important and lasting way. You have helped me survive. You have helped me thrive. And you have made me laugh, and live.

We have won multiple volleyball titles over the years. We won one official softball championship, tied for another, and have countless 2nd and 3rd place finishes. We have countless friends and lasting relationships. That will always be the most important.

I don't know what comes next for the Monkeys in any official capacity. If someone else wants to take the reigns, so be it. Just let me know. We will continue to function as a hellaciously fun social group.

Again, I thank all of you for your years of participation.

Mike

One down, one to go

2010-08-22T18:28:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I just realized that I had not yet done the summary from last week. I won the spirit hat for "taking someone out". It did not look as bad ass as the picture but I can pretend.

I'm struggling to remember what even happened in the game. I know it was a high scoring game----game summary:

We had a big inning, they had a big inning, we had another big inning and then they scored a few more runs. Crackmoney victory!

I know that Glenn had a homerun as he always does. Adam played the role of Alex Voss splendidly. A game highlight was when he turned to throw the ball to Michelle at 2nd and she was no where to be found. She was so amazed by his fielding that she was frozen in her spot. Lisa made some great catches in LC despite the BLAZING sun. Stacey rocked the Captain and Polar Pop in the dugout. I prefer Captain and rum myself. Macy became a more vocal Crackmonkey and cheered for us by name!

I know we had a ton of hits and I know I'm forgetting important accolades. Let's just end on a high note tonight!

I've been very slow with these updates

2010-08-15T16:13:00.002-05:00

and I have fined myself, don't worry.

Last weekend, the Crackmonkeys earned sole possession of first place in the regular season with an 8-5 victory over a very solid team. All 8 runs were scored in the first inning, which gave us a good start, but left some of us worried in the last couple innings.

I think just about everyone had solid hits in the first, and then we got complacent. I earned the spirit hat because I ran around a lot, and injured my knee, and then cried about it. Rick could have received it for his pitching. Michelle R for multiple solid hits. Micki did a dance at 3rd that had me excited as manager, as she caused an error AND scored, but it also turned me on in my pantaloons. And Glenn played RF. (Which he will be doing again tonight, sorry Glenn)

Combine that with an Astronutz victory, and there we are, alone in first. But we have unfinished business. Take care of things over the next two weeks, and we'll have a great party. So we start with a tough battle with the Astronutz tonight. We will be ready, and we'll be Monkeys...fighters, flinging poo.

GO MONKEYS!

Yep we pumped them up....

2010-07-26T16:00:00.002-05:00

The Crackmonkeys racked up another win this past weekend.

The guys and gals of Gold's Gym put up a solid effort, but this time our training and
conditioning paid off. Their immaculate pectorals and washboard abs were not enough
to withstand the withering onslaught of our monkey and Capt. Morgan powered bats.

All in all a fine defensive outing on our part. Lots of people made excellent plays.

Highlights for me included:

Alex pitched a gem of a game. He was gobbling up balls......err...He did a damn fine job of fielding!
Big D was doing yeoman's work, digging our lousy short-stops errant throws out of the dirt.
Micki was making sure that 3 rd base was appropriately named the "hot corner".
Lisa did a fine job of filling our Michelle hole (has anyone else noticed how this season we went from like, a billion Michelle's, to like one?).
Beef was bringing much sound and fury to the plate.
Tony made a catch that almost gave Cation a heart attack.
Lil' D brought the funk back to left field.
Liz got the game winning hit and Tony provided the leg to put Gold's out of their misery.
Cation yelled at me for something at some point in the game.

Also a couple of special shout outs. First to Stacey on celebrating her 29th birthday*, and thanks for the lovely gift I received. I will wear them with pride and possibly a cape. Secondly to Mr. Gold's Gym left fielder; lay off of the "supplements", you were looking a little restive out there my good man.

Thanks to our subs for rocking it again.

On to next week and another victory!

-Cheers

Michelle Ryan is an odd bird.

2010-07-26T09:16:00.001-05:00

Swan dive into the best hungover game of your life...

2010-07-22T16:44:00.004-05:00

So with Captain Cation’s blog stamp of approval and with a name listed under contributors, I feel special and ready to post…

It started off as a simple enough weekend away, with a beer boot shared amongst friends and polka lessons for all… but with 250 miles under our belt and one bar crawling dream to tackle, 20 (-ish) Crackmoneys new, old & honorary set off to hit up 20 bars Monkey style. Somewhere around bar 17, a second generation Monkey announcement and this picture (added soon, having some problems uploading), things get a little hazy…but I do believe it is safe to say that the Crackmonkey imprint as been left on the greater downtown Madison area and its people. Also, before I get to the game re-cap task at hand, let me say a big congratulations again to the Webb-Voss family that will be growing by ten fingers and ten toes soon enough!!

It was another great showing by the Crackmonkeys on the field on Sunday, especially seeing as a lot of us felt like flung poo. I believe I speak for everyone when I say that Lil D set the winning tone with that amazing, twisted, damn near the warning track, thievery of a catch out in right center in the 1st inning. Even the “ref” was impressed with that one.

Other highlights include (in no particular order):

Micki’s awesome double, followed by a great lead off, followed by an “oh sh*t” moment, followed by a slide back into second, followed by a bloody knee. This of course, didn’t stop her!
I am pretty sure there are some homerun claps to pass out as well. Scot made sure to leave the Crackmonkeys wanting more and Alex showed his gene pool is slugger worthy. ****HOMERUN CLAPS****
And an all around great showing at the plate from everyone.

Now please don’t quote me on the highlights or lack there of. By the way, so SORRY to anyone I might have missed, you can hit me later. This brings me to my next point…

Something that won’t be found on the Sportcenter’s Top 10, but still worth mentioning, for pointing and laughing purposes, would be my clock to the head… inflicted by a bat I was holding myself. But hey, seeing as I actually got a good hit for once after that, feel free to clobber me before all batting in the future. And it might have been the hit to the head, but I am fairly certain that Derek came back from their weekend wedding anniversary trip with a new Indiana accent… I had no idea the Taco Bell dog was from Indy. I kid, I kid! Overall, it was a GREAT game, played by a bunch of really great people! I’m honored to be a crackmonkey! As for this coming Sunday, make sure to run out to GNC this week and get whatever that angry man is yelling about in their radio commercials that makes you gain 10 pounds of muscle mass in 10 days, because we are playing Gold’s Gym at 6:15 kids! GOOOOO MONKEYS!

Now raise your frosty glasses and cheers to Scot and Michelle on what is sure to be a great, new and exciting adventure for them off to the East Coast! As bittersweet as it may be, let’s send them off right tonight! Shots anyone?? ; )

Under the wire...

2010-07-18T18:59:00.002-05:00

So, I hope no one is feeling like this after last night. Yes, I'm just NOW updating the blog. Mike threatened me with harsh punishment if I did not get it in before the game. It's 7pm, we play in one hour...just in time.

Yeah, I don't remember the game last week. After 22 bars last night I think I've destroyed any living brain cells. I do know that we won the game, I got the spirit award, I struck out swinging....the rest fades away in my pickled head. Oh wait....Mike STOLE my dining out decision. I do remember that.

Last night was a blast.....this game should be fun. See you all in 30 min!

Jamie

Well, poop.

2010-06-30T05:49:00.002-05:00

OK, so the long and short of it, mostly short of it, was that we lost on Sunday night. There were some bright spots, namely the first appearance of the newest "second generation" Crackmonkey, Tyler Cappa, and the wonderful rice krispie treats that he and Macy made for us. Kidding aside, we were certainly happy to have the whole Cappa family in attendance so quickly after the birth, and it's especially nice to know that everything went smoothly for them.

As for the game, there were some errors, and the hitting wasn't up to our normal level, and unfortunately, it came in a game against the second place team. They've moved in to first place with tiebreakers, so we've got some work to do to get back on top. It starts in two weeks.

Which brings up a question that Glenn and I debated before going out for a drink on Sunday. If you have to lose, how would you rather lose? In a game where you can't seem to do much right, string together hits, have some errors, like we did on Sunday. Or a game where you play your best, and just get beat by 1. Glenn contends he'd rather lose like we did on Sunday, I'm much happier if the team plays well and up to the standards, and if you're bested, so be it.

What do you think?

The Fourth is coming up this week, and hopefully nobody shoots their eye out. We've also got Alex's 30th coming up, and the Crackmonkey Madison Bar Crawl.

Also, a special shoutout to Lil' D, who is celebrating her 18th birthday this Friday night. Don't do anything stupid, Lil' D! :)

Upcoming Events that we'd like you to be a part of:

2010-06-16T09:34:00.004-05:00

July 10th weekend- Alex voss 30th birthday party! There will be drinking and camping.

July 17th weekend- Glenn Westfield Memorial Bar Crawl. In Madison.

date TBD- Going away party, Scot and Bav.

August 21st- Mahomet Half Marathon, aka the Crackmonkey Marathon.

Anything else that I'm missing?

I really didn't forget...

2010-06-11T11:29:00.005-05:00

...I just didn't have Mike Cation yelling at me at work to write my game recap. Okay, I DID forget until last night. It was a memorable game, though, and I think I can recall the best parts.

It was another glorious Crackmonkey victory, as our undefeated season continues. Our rivals? Seven Saints - home of fantastic sweet potato fries and ranch dressing. We were without Jamie, who was at the top of the Empire State building. Also, Captain Mike Cation was notably absent, but no one knows exactly where he was. North Carolina? Tennessee? Has anyone heard from him? Have his cats killed Liz yet?

I don't remember the score but we were one run shy of the 15-run rule. True to form, things were close until...well, the second inning, when we scored nine (I think) runs and ran away with the game. And despite the searing rays of sun that blinded us in the field, our defense was especially strong.

Tony made some amazing catches. I'm not even sure that he could see the ball, but he was there and made it look easy.
Micki turned a double play with yours truly.
Alex again faced Bob, his nemesis in blue. He remained cool under the pressure and the duo even shared a few laughs. Well, Bob laughed and Alex was polite. Everyone is afraid when Bob is friendly.
Beef nearly took down the fence in a valiant attempt to catch a foul ball.

Other game highlights:

No one brought dessert OR rum, but we muddled through somehow.
Glenn hit a grand slam, hurting his knee at 1st when he missed the bag and lurched backwards to tag it. I batted next and Friendly Bob said, "Kind of a hard act to follow, eh?" Yes, he sure is. (Bob really does make me nervous.)
Liz hit a smash to left field!
Little D walked an awful lot. She's sure doing her part to fund a GREAT post-season party!
Tony stretched a double into a triple thanks to 3rd base coaching from Derrick. He genuflected going into 3rd and popped up again with the greatest of ease.
I was robbed of two pretty decent hits by their 6'5" shortstop, pictured below:

And that's why Stacey gave me the Spirit Hat...my bar choice for the evening was the ever-popular Esquire. We needed (1) food (dumplings!!) and (2) a TV to watch the Blackhawks' game. Beef also provided us with an interesting drinking strategy, as she poured soda into her PBR. I guess that makes it palatable?

This Sunday's game is at 6:15!

This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you...

2010-06-02T17:50:00.005-05:00

Stacey here... I've hijacked Micki's Blogger account to bring you this long overdue recap. To be honest, I don't really remember that much about the game (I am just a sub, after all...), but I do know we rattled some bats!!! And, I was very excited each time I made it on base. The poor Astronutz should have tried some of the MAGIC JAPANESE COOKIES before the game... I fully credit those for our mercy-rule win.

What is more fresh in my mind... the 2010 Crackmonkey Memorial Day Jell-O Shots Bag Tourney Meat Fest (or CMDJSBTMF for short)! Thanks, Alex, for hosting another swell party. And thanks, Mike, for carrying me in the bags tournament. Lizaster, keep workin' for the weekend, babe! :D

Bee-cause we are awesome

2010-05-17T17:49:00.004-05:00

Another Sunday and another win for the Crackmonkeys. There were so many spectacular plays it is hard to pick one out in particular, though Dr. Campbell's spectacular catch in the out field is high on the list.

In general though, everyone played well. It was a solid game against a good team.
Everyone deserves a round of applause, especially the Crackmonkey graduates for 2010 Single T and the Stack.

And not to be forgotten I got stung by a bee. So all is good.

For the record, I am not allergic to bees. That is good to know and a nice tidbit for the future.

Next week the Astronutz are up. Normally I would not say such a thing, but we need to crush us some aeronautically themed nuts next week.

-G

Oh, hello there.

2010-05-15T13:35:00.002-05:00

Where's the Beef

2010-05-12T21:28:00.001-05:00

WARNING: watch the video first for the recap of how we started off the game!!!

this post is dedicated to those MIA this week- jamie, webbie, single T, bavs (i think that covers it, but please forgive me if i have missed anyone)

these boots are made for walking, walk like an egyptian, walk this way, i walk the line, walk like a man, walk on, walk on by, walk it out, long walk home, we walk, walk don't run, walk of life, walk idiot walk, walk the dinasaur, walk hard, walk on the wild side, walk on water, the walk, let's take a walk... anyway, you get the point.

other highlights included, but were not limited to: some great streches at 1st by chelray, an amazing catch and throw by little d, solid outfielding all around by alex, tony and liz-aster, an amazingly pitched game by our little mikey, derek buttering up the ump, all glenn wanted for his birthday was a pair of lesbians and instead he got a stinking homerun!!!!

3-0, holla! go monkeys!

2-0, that's a winning streak!

2010-05-05T22:30:00.002-05:00

First, "I'd like to apologi, to the fan" (from Sammy Sosa after corked bat incident) for the delayed post. I put myself on double-secret probation for the offense, thus making me ineligible for the spirit award until Webby returns to play again after the All-Star break.

Great win in our first true test of the season. Any game against a team with softball pant wearers will be constituted as a test. Gotta love the bats coming through in crunch time. Special props to all the runners, the birthday girl, and those who doen't believe in sleep for putting the Monkeys first and ignoring aches, pains, and nausea. Strong effort from Scot at the plate and in the field. We'll do our best to have oxygen in the dugout for the next game. Lastly, props to everyone in the field for flashing some leather and holding a strong offensive team to 4 runs.

In the spirit of playoff hockey, I'm treating my pitching while Bob is umping as a 7 game series. Right now, series is tied 1-1 after, what I call, a convincing shutout. I'm confident I'll grab home ice back after game 3. To commemorate my ejection last season, I thought I'd provide a video of what I think is the ejection of all ejections. I hope you enjoy.

New Season

2010-04-26T14:34:00.002-05:00

With the start of a new season, it is generally customary for the veterans to share useful tips with then newcomers.

So in an attempt to save you some fines, here is an instructional video:

See you all next Sunday.

One big win in the books....

2010-04-19T08:56:00.002-05:00

Our first game is now in the books, and this is your Captain speaking. I'm honored to have received the spirit award for not having legs that responded the way I expect them to. More about that in a minute.

The game got off to a pretty slow start. It took the Monkeys 3 innings to get the bats in order, as we were as cold as the weather, as evidenced by our 3 fans in the picture. The Treehuggers took a 3-nothing lead based on Mike's inability to play with a small ball in his hand, and a couple of solid hits for them.

Eventually, things began going our way. Alex hit the team's first home run of the year...Michelle Ryan made multiple good plays on defense, including a lunge/fall to tag someone out at first...Derek Houston tried to direct traffic in the outfield from his unusual spot at second, which looked like he was giving a Micki special to some...

Eventually, we had a 20-6 victory. For yours truly, it was an eventful one. After pitching 3 innings with mixed success, I went to the outfield to try my hand out there. So, I had run 13 miles on Saturday night (Lookatme!), and was still a little tired from a long few days. There was a ball hit to short left, and I sprinted towards it. I knew that running through it, I couldn't catch it. So I decided to dive. Unfortunately, what should have been a lay out that looked like a slide ended up with my knees just catching the ground and me sprawling on the ground, because my knees and calves didn't want to push off. As a result, this morning, I've got one lumpy right knee, because of the massive bruise. Brilliant.

Also, in what I believe to be a first in Crackmonkey softball, I intentionally got an out to end the top of the 6th inning, with the score 20-6. It was cold and windy, everyone wanted to go home, and despite having ducks on the pond, I hit a two bouncer back to the pitcher, on purpose, so we could start going home.

All in all, a successful game, and something to build on for next week, when we're shorthanded once again.

Lots of love.

El Captain

Please post the games you won't make in the comments section here.

2010-04-07T09:53:00.000-05:00

Or, if you can, on the actual schedule itself, which would be really helpful!

A new season is nearly upon us:

2010-03-10T09:57:00.000-06:00

We start in just over one month.

GET READY!

Great time in Vegas......

2010-02-24T07:43:00.003-06:00

One of these two people was seen at a poker table this weekend. The other was my roommate for the weekend. You choose.

Back from Vegas after a terrific weekend. Very happy to have been able to share some quality time with Julia, Leigh, Louis, Kalleen and Boom Boom. We had some great experiences, including a night at Moon in the Palms, great gambling, and yes, our first real celebrity sightings in all of our trips. Thanks to a celebrity poker tournament being held at the Venetian, we saw Tito Ortiz, Joanna Krupa, Jason Alexander, Christian Slater, and yes, Donnie Wahlberg from New Kids. And yes, Leigh did indeed get a kiss from him. It was a magical moment for her.

For me, I got to watch the Poker Stars North American Poker Tour event at the Venetian from the rail. For me, it was amazing to be able to stand a foot behind guys like Greg Raymer, Barry Greenstein, and Daniel Negreanu, and figure out what they're doing, and what the others at the table. They're consistently making correct decisions, which is why playing poker is clearly a game of skill.

This was evidenced in the poker tournament that Louis and I played in on Friday morning. I played pretty well, I thought, but just got unlucky. I had a guy dead to rights after reading him well, and he got lucky and hit a card. Later on, he essentially crippled me, and then Louis knocked me out of the tournament, mercifully. But I was most happy about the fact that I made good calls, and good reads, and I think I'm getting better overall.

We also ate some spectacular buffet meals, and if I can, I'd like to make a recommendation for anyone planning a trip out there to stay at the Rio. It will be well worth your time. The rooms are huge, the buffet is great, and there is a shuttle to and from the strip. Well worth it.

Now, I'm back at work, and the grind is back on. 2 tennis matches and a basketball game this weekend. Baseball is around the corner. It's all good.

Note:

2010-02-17T19:18:00.001-06:00

The Crackmonkeys need to develop a curling team.

Pronto.

Pre-Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

2009-12-16T20:50:00.002-06:00

Just wanted to give you a look at what you can borrow for the upcoming party.

Any takers?

OH HAI!

2009-09-15T08:41:00.002-05:00

2009-08-14T17:23:00.003-05:00

well, i'll start by apologizing for being so negligent and late with my post. so much for my spirit award!! :)

our season finale ended in true monkey fashion... with a big bang! nothing like a 10-run rule win to go out on. it was good to see mike return to the mound and conquer his fears as he lead us out of the season with his fine managerial and pitching skills. special thanks to mike for being our fearless leader through out the season! it's been an exciting season, scot got new shoes, after all. our crew of extremely competent gals were joined by a new member, little d.-- a fine f*cking addition to the team! we had the first monkey kicked out of the park, that i'm aware of anyway. alex, i think you just must have been too tense that evening, we should have prepared better. ;) we also learned that in my advancing age, sometimes getting around all 4 bases makes it tricky for me to stay on my feet. we had some great subs, some super fans, including lots of parents this year. you all are a talented, great bunch of folks and so much fun to play with. i'm proud to be a monkey. looking really forward to the social activities this fall, do we need to form committee? by popular demand, bowling and pizza is up first. let's start looking for a date, can't wait to see you all!

p.s. i don't intend for this to serve as the comprehensive season recap, i'll put someone more clever in charge of that!

2009-08-03T08:09:00.003-05:00

A win just wasn't in the cards for us yesterday. Any time it takes seven innings to get your first run, it's going to be tough going. With that said, I thought we played some solid defense throughout the game. Only giving up 7 runs (0 in their last 4 at bats) to a team that had multiple balls travel over the fence and a host of women that can hit the ball farther than I can is saying something about our team defense.

On a personal note, I want to thank you all for standing by me as I got through my first full game back on the hill after the incident. Without the positive reinforcement throughout the game I may very well have snapped and been tossed once again. The anger management classes, for which Webbie and Mike are sponsoring me, are paying off. Also, I am comfortable with a team decision that revokes my bar selection privileges for the fall. My feelings won't be hurt.

Congrats to Julia and Mike for completing their half marathon. I'm guessing you're quite sore today but I know the feeling of finishing and it is something special. Enjoy it and, who knows, maybe we can have a group of CrackMonkeys run the Illinois Half Marathon or relay next spring.

One more to go Monkeys. Let's make the most of it!

Back with a vengance

2009-07-27T12:29:00.002-05:00

The Crackmonkeys put one back in the win column in spite of torrential rain and some 6th inning violence. Everyone picked up their game and rallied to keep championship hopes alive. The game was highlighted by stellar defense and timely hitting (both the ball and the knee), which proved too much for the Underdogs with a final score of 11-9.

In true Crackmonkey fashion, here are some shout-outs:

Special thanks to our cheering section of Julia and her family, Michelle's parents, and anyone else out there who bled Crackmonkey yellow.
Also thanks to Rick who pitched a great game and was extremely solid with the bat.
Great job by the infield (Bav, Glenn, A Voss, Jamie, Micki, Michelle R) catching some line drives and making big time plays to get some outs.
The outfield (Webbie, Jamie, Cation, Scot, Little D) did an outstanding job getting to some balls and making plays.

Highlights:

Cation's toss from RCF to 2nd, which would have been great if he hadn't thrown it at Alex's back.
Scot's D Wise impression in the OF.
Scot's T Harding impression on the base path.
Michelle R's attempt to take out her Mom with a foul ball.
Little D's performance at f***ing El Toro.

Let's get 'em again next week!

Happy Birthday to:

2009-07-22T10:01:00.001-05:00

regular season ends

2009-07-21T20:21:00.010-05:00

The crackmonkeys ended the regular season with an eventful two weeks. We played a heated, but well-played game hungover (see below) to win our 7/12 game. Some teams play well under stress and a good hangover, others don't. We do. Motion for monkey post-game drinking to be moved to monkey pre-game drinking starting saturday night. In our last game of the season (7/19) we faced a tough team that hit all the right places along with some great defensive plays. Some highlights below....

1. Completion of the "World Famous First Annual Chocolate Thunder All-Star Invitational Mid-Summer Classic, Charity Bar Crawl" - good times were had by all - including those around the world that received loving keepsake messages from Mr. Mike Cation. On Saturday July 11th the crackmonkeys invaded bars across the champaign-urbana area, including notables campus favorite Kam's, wet 'n wild day at Station, a pair of blind pigs, and a finale at C street. Time to start training for next year!

2. First ever crackmonkey ejection (see previous post for details). Hopefully first and last!

3. Four pitchers in one game...and a win.

4. Great hitting all around. Girls are forcing the outfield to recognize, and guys are hitting the gaps to get runs in. Great D in the outfield both weeks: Tony, little-D (that's official right?), Cation, Jamie, Voss, Glenn, D, and Webbie. Great pickups at first base by D. Second base matrix moves by Bav. Short-stop looks easy monkeystyle by Jamie, Scot, Cation, and Voss. Great job by Michelle to stay calm and keep game up during all the pitching drama. And holding down the hot corner Glenn, Micki, and Jamie.

On to the post season! See you saturday.

This is late, but here's a recap of a 15-8 win, with the first ever Crackmonkey ejection:

2009-07-20T21:34:00.002-05:00

Mr. Whiteley,

I am emailing you regarding my ejection during the 7:00 pm Crackmonkey/Plastipak game and asking you to consider waiving the 1-game suspension based on the circumstances surrounding my ejection.

I replaced our starting pitcher in the 3rd inning of the game. After being called for illegal pitches that were too high I was becoming frustrated with myself as I wasn't throwing strikes. On one pitch that I felt was a strike which was called a ball, I asked our umpire where the pitch was and he informed me it was too high. I felt I asked calmly and was merely asking for direction on what I needed to do to throw strikes. During the first few batters I feel the only actions I made showing frustration were that I caught 2 balls thrown from the catcher with my throwing hand and not my glove and also bounced the ball off the field back to myself twice.

Facing the next batter or two after I asked about the pitch mentioned above, I threw 2 balls for a 3-1 count. The next pitch I threw I felt was the best pitch of the day, it landed and the umpire hesitated but called it a strike. After the catcher threw the ball back to me I spoke, to myself, "That better effing (I did use the word) be a strike, Jesus Christ." I felt it was a quiet comment to myself and didn't feel I was addressing the umpire whatsoever. After the game our catcher and first baseman both said they didn't hear what I said. At this point our umpire yelled at me "One more word about balls and strikes, and you might as well be talking to your centerfielder, because you'll be out of here." To cordially acknowledge that I got the point I raised my hand and calmly replied "Thank you." At this point I was thrown out of the game.

Upon leaving the field, because I had a sense the umpire was extremely annoyed with me and I'm not aware of the protocol on whether ejected players need to leave the field, I asked the umpire if he'd like me to leave. He then yelled back at me to get out of here. I admit once this was said, I did throw my glove into the dugout fence, but then calmly left the field and waited for the end of the game in the parking lot.

I truly feel once the warning was given after my comment to myself that I was as polite as I could be in addressing the umpire and was letting him know he wouldn't hear anything from me. Also, multiple members of the opposing team and other non-team affiliated spectators were shocked that I was in fact ejected. In light of this I feel the 1-game suspension outlined in the league rules is an unnecessary penalty in this situation.

I appreciate your consideration and am willing to discuss this matter further if you deem necessary.

Jimmy John's is Freaky Fast...

2009-06-28T21:08:00.003-05:00

...when it comes to getting out in a softball game. Great job this week Monkeys, I think everyone left the field with a big grin. There's nothing like beating down a bunch of striped softball pant wearers by the 10 run mercy rule in 5 innings. Surprisingly, Jimmy himself was gracious in defeat, sending us this photo congratulating us on our victory.

Special props to Jason, today's Spirit Award winner. Jason subjected himself to a triple dosage of athletic activity today playing a 3 hour, 3 set singles match, a mixed doubles match, and then tonight's contest. Good luck getting out of bed tomorrow.

Other events of note:

-Webbie and Jamie's bombs over the outfielder's heads
-Tony flashing the leather out in left center
-Derek helping Micki slam on the breaks at 3rd
-Denise & Glenn's big cuts
-The battery of Alex and Michelle allowing only 1 run through 5 innings (way to call a great game Michelle)

Great D all around team. Happy 4th of July and let's rest up for the bar crawl!

It was a hot one...

2009-06-23T00:55:00.003-05:00

Despite a valiant effort, the Crackmonkeys unfortunately fell to victim to the Green Street Cafe crew, 8-9, early Sunday evening. We fought it out until the end but eventually the heat and the baseball pants got to us. Everyone made a fantastic effort to put on the rally hats in the end!

Here are some equally fantastic highlights:

- The bullpen (Alex) stepped up to the challenge
- Scot's two-game in-the-park-home-run streak
- Denise chasing down multiple foul balls to the fence
- Solid outfield performances by Denise, Mike, Jamie, Glenn, and Tony
- 32 oz Margarita's at El Toro Bravo

Thanks again to Maggie and Jasmine for their help this week! Let's kick some Jimmy John's butt Sunday!

Just for giggles...

2009-06-20T16:25:00.002-05:00

hits all around

2009-06-15T22:07:00.002-05:00

In the last round of games sunday the monkeys took the field against HDC. Although down quite a few girls, Denise, Anna, and Beef stepped it up and the rest is history. Monkeys win 19-6. I'm quite honored to receive my first ever spirit award for not communicating with my husband and making a stunning catch in the process. More highlights from the game:

-single t's in-the-park homerun
-alex got his mojo back
-offensive explosion in the 3rd inning while down two outs
-cation and denise tearin' up the outfield
-tony battling through alcohol and meat detox
-derek and glenn holding down the hot corner
-webbie personal best for fine contribution

Everyone wish Cation a good trip down under, and we'll see you next week!

No points for second place

2009-06-08T21:07:00.003-05:00

It was a hard fought game, but ultimately the Crackmonkeys couldn't pull it out in the end (that's what she said). But in spite of the loss (6-10), there are many highlights worth mentioning:

* Micki's graceful slide into home that might, or might not have been on purpose

* Macy's pregame crawling/climbing/smiling/eating cheerios

* One of the Michelle's pulling both quads and then claiming to be old (The Bav)

* One of the Michelle's being called out for stepping out of an invisible batter's box (Webbie)

* Scot taking out his frustration by beaning a base runner trying to get back to first

* The waitress at Office II screwing up Derek's food order

* Derek trashing Office II because he didn't get his food

Better luck next week, team!

The Streak Continues...

2009-06-02T13:50:00.004-05:00

What can I say, another run barrage, another Crack Monkey victory! As this is my first recap, ever, I hope to impress only a few, as i don't want to set the bar too high. So, here we go! The highlights:

Our 9 run first inning - for some reason it seemed that we were playing like old men, one single and one base at a time.
Glenn's love for making the routine seemingly spectacular and the spectacular routine.
Mike and his tremendous left center abilities
Webby's nack for knowing when a fair ball will become foul even though it was fair!
Tony's sticky shoes
Mickey's constant updates
Jamie's cannon - I forgot how hard she throws
Michelle's excellent catching job - kept Voss in the game
Voss's magnanimous pitching performance
Scott's marvelous impersonation of a first base coach
My hamy, ouch, my hamy!

I hope this works. We kicked butt. We will continue the shalacking next week!

Redemption

2009-05-19T22:19:00.002-05:00

After a drought hitting last week, the Crankmonkeys came back with a fury scoring a total of 17 runs with an eight run fifth inning. It was a solid performance all around, capped by Alex trying to enact revenge on the pitcher for Mike's left nut, only to be thwarted by the quick reflexes of his glove. I guess we will have to wait until the post-season to try again. We have a week off to prepare for the next game. Enjoy the rest!!!

At a loss for words

2009-05-11T20:25:00.003-05:00

Well, we knew it was going to be a rough night when:

a) Scot had to add an additional roll of tape to his cleat.

b) We were forced to endure pineapple rum (well those of us who are alcoholics)

c) Micki and Mike slow danced to "Reunited" after not seeing each other since Christmas

Yes, we experienced our first loss of the season. It wasn't a pounding, but not exactly a first rate Crackmonkey outing. The bats were as dull as Glenn's morning after gin headache. Not even a fifth inning "everyone rotate to the next position" could wake us up.

We were certainly not without bright spots though. Alex made his pitching debut of the season and did an excellent job. Mike made a dramatic leaping catch that surely impressed Julia. Micki screetched about playing left field but then did a great job.

Oh well, better luck next time.

P.S. Diet Dr. Pepper and pineapple rum tastes like baby aspirin.

Jamie

Another Win

2009-05-06T14:33:00.003-05:00

With part of the team out living it up in Vegas, we battled for another hard-fought victory. Special thanks to Jayson and Mike, who had some key hits and were very steady in the field. Other highlights include:

-Glenn's clutch homerun.

-Glenn almost passed out on the bench after his homerun.

-Scot finding out he was supposed to pitch 30 minutes before the game.

-Michelle being listed as "The Bav" on the game roster.

-"The Bav's" slide into home, and the resulting scrape.

-Micki tossing her hat to get to (and catch) some foul balls.

-Scot waiting 3 days to get the blog updated. Better late than never. (Sorry Mike)

Well....game one is in the books.....

2009-04-27T10:01:00.003-05:00

So, normally, the Spirit Hat award winner has to do the game recap, however, Beef was a fill-in, so we didn't make her do it.
Let's see. Some highlights from last night's thrilling 17-11 victory:
-Mike in full on panic mode about pitching.
-Sue's hair.
-Glenn running past Sue.
-Alex slowing down twice, yet still hitting a "home run."
-Michelle Ryan's heartfelt "ohhhhhh."
-Scot and Jamie's struggles with the wind.
-Tony's half slide, followed by running home after 3 beers.
-Webbie's gapper.
-Holly getting angry at the umpire, then wondering, "Did he hear me?"

Alex, Webbie, and I will be gone next week. WIN WIN WIN without us. Glenn is captain. Good luck to all of you.

Softball starts sunday....practice Saturday at 5:30 at Carrie Busey...

2009-04-17T08:08:00.003-05:00

And who wants to guess who wrote this. (and I am NOT by any means mocking what happened)

Our home was robbed last week including our computer. Both our
e-mails have been compromised and therefore we will be changing our
e-mail addresses. Please stop using this e-mail immediately. Thank
you.

....

2009-04-09T08:11:00.003-05:00

Us.

In addition to the 2008 Summer Softball Championship, I'm happy to announce that the Crackmonkeys have won the 2009 Spring Volleyball league. A solid performance was turned in on Wednesday night, overcoming a 9 point deficit in game one, and a 7 point deficit in game two, to sweep Joe and his lovely young men out to their cars, moaning the whole way.
Kudos to Jill for her continuously solid play, and passing..
Kathy for setting the hell out of the ball...
Amber for a series of clutch serves in game two...
Alex for being big on the block, and continuing to swing...
James for talking shit...
and Mike...well, at least he wore his Crackmonkey shirt, and won a joust.

For Alex and I, this means a week off until the start of softball season. For the rest of the Monkeys, there's time off until the fall season.

There will be a celebratory party at some point. And another trip to Las Vegas.

Tour de Tony

2009-04-08T05:47:00.009-05:00

This was my first adventure with the Tony Cappa. You've heard the audio...now see the visual...

Tony's mug shot: La Bamba after the bar. Julia, Mike and Tony are ready to eat...and enter a construction site...

After dropping Julia off, we needed Baskin Robbins and doughnuts. This is us posing with our treats in front of Mike's old apartment. Why, you ask? Cause we can! The next stop on the tour of the drunken Tony, was the Illini Radio Group. Yes, this is where the audio magic happened. As you can see from this photo, he's beginning to wind down.
This is Mike and his Gold Medal Ribbon stained face at the end of the night. After we successfully dropped off the Tony to his girls, we had nothing left to party for and we retreated to Casa de Cation.

Posted without comment....

2009-04-06T08:11:00.002-05:00

While we had snow during our break from Volleyball...

2009-03-31T08:16:00.003-05:00

She could have been playing beach volleyball...instead...

Poker night recap

2009-03-30T20:44:00.003-05:00

As everyone left the house with their clothes, I think poker night was a success. We ended up having eleven players with the top three finishers being Tony, Mike, and Anhill (I think that is how you spell it). There was a variety of food, a few drinks (or a few too many for some people), and interesting enough, three quads dealt for the night. Jill and I will try to host another poker night in the upcoming months. Much thanks to everyone who showed up.

Oh piss off....

2009-03-19T11:10:00.001-05:00

We lost. We will rise again.

Championship match

2009-03-17T10:39:00.002-05:00

It will be Wednesday at 8:15 at the Leonhard Center. Please attend if you have some time. It's against James' former team.

Disfunctional Family-Recap of 3/11

2009-03-12T08:14:00.002-05:00

Our final "regular season" volleyball game saw the following:
Kathy continued to be the silent leader.
Alex laid off and believed Mike to be drunk.
Mike appeared to be drunk.
James may have been drunk.
Amber ran a mile.
Jill practiced her fist bump.

Regardless, a win was had, and we've clinched at least a tie for the regular season championship, which will be decided next week.

For no reason, I give you Beef and Voss...

2009-03-10T09:02:00.003-05:00

Enjoy.

Poker night

2009-03-05T19:28:00.005-06:00

All crackmonkeys are invited for a Texas Hold'em night at Jill and Tony's house on Saturday, March 28th at 7:00 p.m. The stakes will be small. Usually we do a $5 buy-in and then manage it like a tournament with blinds going up every 12-15 minutes. Novice and pros alike are welcome, except for Glenn, since he was giving my wife a hard time on previous blog posts.

We will have a few snacks and drinks, but feel free to bring any other thing your heart may desire. If you could comment back to let me know how many will attend, that would be great. Hopefully we can get around 8-10, more if possible.

I will send an email out closer to the event with directions.

A bit sloppy, but...

2009-03-05T07:38:00.002-06:00

The CrackMonkeys got another win on Wednesday night in two straight games.

The match was marked by sloppy play, for sure, but was notable for the first ever opportunity for the original six members of this year's squad to play together. That being James, Alex, Mike, Jill, Kathy, and Beef. There was some definite rotational issues, but they were worked out late in the games, both of which saw big CrackMonkey runs.
And not the bad kind of runs.

Also of note from Wednesday's game: Amber's hair looked perfect. Jill brought back her fun grunts/sounds. Alex swung away. James played his good friend, and survived. Kathy showed pictures of cookies.

The mocking of the Jills....

2009-02-27T15:06:00.002-06:00

Mr. T says, "He pity da' foo! Who doesn't do post game wrap-ups."

Also, "Quitters never win, and Winners never quit!"

Don't be a quitter ma'am......

Recap, since Jill won't do it.

2009-02-27T09:30:00.002-06:00

This week, our team took on a solid blocking team in Aces and Knee Braces. Their team featured one man who was old, cranky, and pissed off. During the game, the Crackmonkeys got off to a 12-4 start, but lost the first set, due to some shaky hitting, serving errors, and other general badness. In not so stunning fashion, we came back in sets two and three behind the swings of Alex and James, and the passing of everyone else.
Drinks were then had by James, Alex, and Mike.

Now, on to Jill. Jill has requested to be taken off of the Crackmonkey blog as a contributor. I say we now proceed to mock her incessantly until she returns. I have already begun the process with this week's post.

This is Jill Cappa, pre-Monkeys.

2009-02-23T17:39:00.002-06:00

Let's try this....

2009-02-19T07:34:00.003-06:00

For the record, Alex, he started it.

Scary Time

2009-02-18T23:14:00.003-06:00

Good job to the four Monkeys who battled with me to a three set win. MVP honors to Judd for the Most in-Visible Player of the night. Thanks Judd! Highlights of the night include...

- Mike taunting the opponent's fearless leader with some friendly in your face clapping (tried to find a good pic of some intense taunting but this is the best I could do).

- Jill proclaiming pre-match that there was a good chance her pants would fall down. Those of you not in attendance will be left in suspense as to whether they actually did or not.

- Amber showing off her shoulder blades. Really hot stuff!

- Kathy's daughter cements herself as the Crackmonkeys' number 1 fan, with runner-up honors going to Julia.

Get some rest, Friday is going to be a long one for some of us.

Photos from last week

2009-02-16T01:50:00.003-06:00

So as it turns out, volleyball is incredibly fast.

Also, I thought I'd be further away from the court and thus brought the wrong camera lens. Maybe next time the photos will be better.

Enjoy!

http://picasaweb.google.com/thfield/CrackmonkeysVBall?feat=directlink

Remaining undefeated with a huge win over Joe's Auto Body

2009-02-12T09:18:00.001-06:00

25-13, 25-17.
Face down, ass up indeed.

Thanks to Glenn, Tyler, the Hugs, and Webbie for the fan support.
Our best to Tony and Jill, who we really missed.

We're coming to get you.....Nefarious dealings!

2009-02-09T08:39:00.005-06:00

We will descend upon the volleyball-Monkeys like a swarm of locusts!

Heard you all have a big game.

We will come cheer.

You will win.

Then there will be celebration.

Gratuitous cross-post on post game nefarious-nefarious plan.

-Excelsior!

--edit updated post here.

On my single leg:

2009-02-06T09:07:00.003-06:00

We officially welcomed James Ivaska to the CrackMonkey family this week.
James does not own a television, nor does he have a car with a radio, so therefore, he hears a lot of music in clubs, while dancing.
This includes the Beyonce song "Single Ladies"
James, while hearing the song in a club, heavy with bass and practically inaudible lyrics, believed Beyonce to be singing "On My Single Leg"
This is what I believe to be his dance, offering a hand to put a ring on it.

On a side note, we won our volleyball match in two crap-filled sets.

Here is a video:

Monkeys Beat Salmon

2009-01-29T09:04:00.003-06:00

The Crackmonkeys are a perfect 3-0 after eating the Slammin Salmons, 2-0 on Wednesday night. It was a game that summed up Monkey volleyball very well....utter destruction in game one, and complete disinterest in game two, minus our supersub Jamie, who continued to outplay everyone else.

We were happy to welcome Kathy back to the fold. She did not disappoint, and made Mike hit entirely too much.

Also, the two Monkey children, Taylor and Macey, were incredibly well behaved. Which means we all have some work to do.

Congratulations to Alex, who drew the first blood of the year, on his hand. Luckily, he did not infect the rest of us with his herp.

Other than that, it was an uneventful night of volleyball, a good night of drinking, and great preparation for the Grilling of the Meats 9, this Sunday at Alex's house. Any questions, please contact Mike or Glenn, GotM originators, immediately.

.....and we're back......

2009-01-22T08:15:00.002-06:00

with the dramatic story of how James Ivaska saved Christmas.
Or, at the very least, the Crackmonkey volleyball season.
The volleyball team was at a crossroads with Tony still on the shelf with his massive internal surgery, and there was talk from the captain about scrapping the season completely. When James heard the woeful tale while drinking at the Blind Pig, he offered to play, and hence we're back. And it certainly will set up a tense match when we play James' old team, who will try to Gillooly one of us.

The team is now 2-0, after last night's 2-nothing win over SCUDMissile, minus the SCUDMissile himself. Beef sustained the first injury, what she deemed a hip pointer, as if she'd have any clue. My diagnosis was a hip bruise.

In true Monkey style, there was a sexual incident, as Jamie ignored Mike's request for oral sex on the court. That didn't stop Mike from attempting it anyways.

Jamie proved once again a capable and enjoyable sub, Jill was as stuck up as always, Alex didn't kill anybody, Beef bitched about her hip, and James wanted to play soccer.

Beers were had, although Beef continues to put coke in hers. So foul.

Kathy rejoins the team next week.
That is all for now, enjoy your week.

Crack Monkey Christmas

2008-12-20T18:46:00.006-06:00

The Crack Monkey Christmas Party seemed to be a success in all areas. There was plenty of food (thanks to everyone for helping out), more than enough beverages (can there ever be too much?), and apparently the ritual end to all Crack Monkey parties, explanation and re-enactments of sexual confusions.

We had a lot of fun and were so glad everyone could make it despite the slippery roads and busy holiday schedules. Hope your morning after was better than Macy's, this is what we awoke to:

Las Vegas. April 30-May 3.

2008-12-05T23:01:00.002-06:00

mmmmmmmm.......

Well.....we played hard!

2008-12-04T08:19:00.003-06:00

After a pretty sluggish game one, the Crackmonkeys rebounded to defeat the #1 team in game two last night, befor succumbing in game three. Pretty close match. Everyone had some highlights. Amber set incredibly well. Emily had some great hits. Alex learned how to say fuck it. Jill was, as always, the steadying force, with dependable passing, and dependable hitting, adjusting to my piss poor sets. And I actually put down a block, and scissor kicked.
Bad things: Amber once again thought I was yelling at her, when I was just talking very excitedly. Alex hurt himself. Jill gave me a revelation that I found quite disturbing.
We are planning a Crackmonkey Christmas. It will be on December 19th. Plan on being a part of it, if you read this blog.
Love you.
Mike

Another Loss

2008-11-21T09:12:00.003-06:00

Another for the "L" column this week. Might have been our worst one yet. Though we did enjoy getting together afterwards watching this strange man listen in on our conversations and stare at our table. He even fell asleep at one point. Good times, good times. Or should I say, happy fun times.

Well, this is my first and only blog as I was drafted for this season and now have to go on the injured list as I undergo surgery prior to the next game which leaves me out for the rest of the season.

Good luck team. Thanks for letting me play. If I end up on the other side of the court from you again, I will continue to add my own word after you say monkeys on 3.

Our last volleyball game was a stinker...

2008-11-13T16:50:00.001-06:00

I think that sums it up. I'm not particularly pleased. I know Alex wasn't either, and I know Amber wasn't either. So.....a stinker.

Oh well.

Volleyball recaps from the last couple weeks....

2008-11-11T07:48:00.003-06:00

We've played with 4 people the last three weeks. I think that's right. But darnit, we just keep winning. Jill, Alex, and Mike have formed the core during those three weeks, providing stability and humor. Emily filled in for a week, and was a good replacement, and may be called upon in the future. Amber got so mad at one point, she nearly killed a man. Mike yelled at a punk kid who tried to break his ankle. And two former students tried to hit on Mrs. Cappa outside of the Leonhard Center.

There have also not been nearly enough drinks. That needs to change. Not this week, but next week.

My love to the softball team, who I missed last night. I didn't miss the softball, but I missed the people.

mc

halloween game

2008-11-06T15:49:00.002-06:00

Our last game of the season coincided with dress up for Halloween night which provided great entertainment for the spectators, opposing team, and our own players. The highlights were watching Jamie run through the outfield pregnant and watching Cation try to hit with the mask on. My personal highlight was my in the park home run. Some of you (Scot) can do that every time, but I almost never hook that up.

I enjoyed playing softball with the Sarah Palin family this fall! Thanks for having me. I look forward to the match up next summer between the Crack Monkeys and Astronutz!

Yo, Woody....

2008-11-05T18:23:00.001-06:00

Can a brother get a freaking recap up in this joint??? Seriously.

Election Party.....

2008-11-05T15:11:00.003-06:00

Well again several Monkeys gathered in one location. This time it was to watch election coverage and evidently get obliterated (Thanks for the ride Tyler!).

Tracy hosted the event, had delicious snacks, and generally did the whole hostess thing.

In all seriousness, I don't really know what to say. But it was a mighty special night. I feel genuinely thankful that I got to celebrate it with my friends, even when I got all weepy.

Anyway thanks to everyone who was there.

Also for those that were feeling a bit amorous after last nights events...

Movie Redux....

2008-10-29T12:14:00.002-05:00

So more then 2 Crackmonkeys were in one location at one time. That means someone must report on the activities of the evening.

Our motley band of movie goers, marshaled its forces to Boardman's Art Theater.

We watched Religulous. It was thoroughly entertaining, though I suspect not standard fair for everyone. Though I felt is worth the 9 dollars and as a tool to promote dialog.

That all being said, I felt is was a fine time. Those not there were missed.

So we concluded the evening with drinking....probably a bit much for some of us. Tyler was being all whinny about a stuffed up nose! We told him to drink between breaths!

Anyway, there was a movie, some drinking, some pizza, and good times were had by all....

G

Monkies beaten, but unbowed

2008-10-28T09:49:00.003-05:00

I got awarded the spirit visor last night for brilliance in running all over the place. This was something I came to regret as I tried to jog up the stairs to my apartment and my legs collapsed. Ok, not really, but that almost happened.

We played a pretty solid game, I felt. But then again, it's hard to know what's going on in the infield when you're spacing out in the outfield. After Mike mixed up the roster, we all proved to be solid utility players, making plays all over and astounding the announcers and cheering section with our abilities.

The other team, after nearly losing by forfeit, showed up and demonstrated their ability to hit the ball hard up the middle, pop it into short outfield, or belt it to the fences, whichever they chose. We demonstrated an ability to get hits but not score.

I think the final score was 12-5, but honestly I forgot to look at the end of the game. Who really cares that much; everyone had a good time and is now looking forward to the costume ball next week.

Oh yeah, it was 29 degrees out.

Here are the costume decisions for the game November 3:

2008-10-21T07:41:00.007-05:00

Tracy Lamont as Sarah Palin

Scot Campbell as Todd Palin

Brian "Woody" Woodard as Track Palin, the soldier

Jamie Young as Bristol Palin and her Baby Bump

Micki Hallum as Trig Palin

Michelle Bavester as Piper Palin (and for the life of me, I couldn't find a picture of her licking the baby....but Michelle, she's the one in the white jacket here)

Glenn Westfield as Levi Johnston, the baby daddy

Michelle Ryan as The Moose

Holly Stalcup as The Russians

Mike Cation as John McCain

and Tyler Field as Barack Obama.

Get to work, kids. You have two weeks!

Dear Glenn:

2008-10-17T06:52:00.002-05:00

YOU BROKE MICHELLE'S FINGER. NICE FLIPPING JOB.

Jerk.

Volleyball recap from 10/15

2008-10-16T07:16:00.003-05:00

The Crackmonkeys came out fired up in game one, jumping out to a big lead, and holding on to win game one.

Game two....not so much.

Game three was a race, which the Crackmonkeys won, knocking off the dreaded Scud Missile team in 3.

It was, in this writer's opinion, some of the worst volleyball ever. Our opponents, SCUD, were big proponents of dumping it over on one, lifting, double contacts, throwing, and other bullshit. Amber got upset that Mr. Sweatpants was so sloppy, and didn't know what he was doing, and swore. Jill and Kathy laughed through the match, especially when SCUD started yelling at sweatpants for being an idiot. Mike laughed through most of it too, until he got tired and sore. Alex was Alex, and played pretty big. And Sarah (welcome to the Monkeys) was scrappy, and took a shot to the head for the team. Good work.

So, the team is 3-1, which is not at all bad.

Recap from last Wednesday's Volleyball

2008-10-15T10:13:00.002-05:00

A dubya was posted via forfeit from the opposing team last week... We stuck around a "played" a game with the 5 guys and one girl that showed up.

Significant events...

Mike took a stumble and tumble about the third play of the "game" and was subsequently out for the rest of the evening with an injured ankle.

Alex was intense, per usual.

Jill shrugged a lot according to Mike.

Amber continuously questioned Mike's injury status, meanwhile pulling a back muscle from attempting to hit one of Kathy's fabulous sets.

Emily was there. Quiet, but there. Then told Alex that she was quitting the team.

After the "game," which I have no idea who actually "won," most everyone departed for home. Or booze. Or both.

Edit accordingly, Cation.

Game Recap from Monday night:

2008-10-13T22:05:00.002-05:00

Yep.

Also, we lost the game, 9-8.

And the guy didn't apologize.

Also, currently, lefty is looking large, and feeling ill.

Alright......

2008-10-12T18:10:00.002-05:00

Who thought this was a good idea?

MAJOR PARTY UPDATE:

2008-10-08T07:50:00.002-05:00

There will be jackets.

Recap of Game

2008-10-07T20:34:00.004-05:00

So according to Mike I am suppose to recap the game. Well.....I got mad at Cation for yelling at me NUMEROUS times...I asked Scot if he hit two home runs after we scored at home, which Cation said I needed to act cooler and not ask that at the plate....The team we played really likes to talk ALOT.....Something popped in Michelle's butt (would say *ss but still at work)...And I won the spirit award, but there was no Sonic.

So that is all I got...Cation might be adding more in the morning if this is not good enough.

See everyone on Sat.

Mike Cation's additions:
"Something popped in Michelle's butt?"
WOW.

I will not refute any of Holly's comments about me yelling.
I would also like to add that Tyler again came up big in a substitute role, Holly slid in to home, which shocked everyone, considering that her third base coach did not tell her to run.
Woody got some solid shots in as well, as did Micki, Jamie, Michelle Ryan. Woody also looked good in yellow.
I only had one inning where I walked.
Tracy has volunteered to try pitching, but we need to get her to practice.
Also, Jamie is the world's softball champion, just to make sure everyone knows.
That's all.

Kegger

2008-10-07T11:35:00.001-05:00

Hi All -

Since Jamie and I have a Sam's membership (we love bulk ANYTHING), it's become our happy duty to purchase the alcohol for the party. Mike said I should consult Glenn on this, but I'm choosing to bring it to the table...

...What kind of beer should be in the keg?

Party Details

2008-10-07T06:48:00.002-05:00

I do not know about jackets. Steve from the Champaign Park District is being elusive, and despite having turned in our order form over one month ago, he has not responded to any calls or emails. Next step will be to stop by his front door.

But, outside of that, we are all systems go for this weekend's party on Saturday.
Details are as follows:
Doors open at 5
Most should be there by around 6
Award ceremony at 7.

Alcohol will be provided. We will also have hamburgers. You are encouraged to bring something on the side, but it is certainly not required by any means.

As I said, I would like to hope there will be jackets. There will definitely be awards. I wish I could promise more.

Holly has promised me she will attend.

If you would like to invite a friend, feel free to do so.

There may be bags. There may not be bags.

Any questions, feel free to email mike at mike.cation@gmail.com.

A special shoutout here to Micki's mom. And look for a softball recap from Holly later today.

Case of the Mondays.....

2008-10-06T14:44:00.002-05:00

It's Monday and I have a few questions:

Where is my snazzy jacket?
Ain't there some sort of shindig this weekend?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

That is all.

Thank You

2008-10-05T21:07:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to say thank you for the generous gift. Tony and I are in need of a night out after everything that has been going on the last 2 months with Tony's mom. We really appreciate it. It is great to know we have people that care about us here in Champaign. Hopefully we'll be able to get out more now that we're back in town on the weekends. We are especially looking forward to hosting a Crack Monkey function in the near future. Stay tuned.

Strong Comeback

2008-10-01T22:14:00.003-05:00

After last week's struggles, the Monkeys rebounded with a victory. Special thanks to Macy and Tony for their cheers and support. Two dedicated fans much better than an army of spectators who didn't seem to know what was going on.

Game ball goes to Amber for playing through her affliction. Thank you for washing your hands thoroughly and often as to keep this 'special gift' to yourself. ** Note ** The game ball may be revoked should any member of the team contract the 'gift'.

Congrats to Jill for a strong first game back. I'm going to steal Reggie's quote and say you're the straw that stirs the Crackmonkey's drink.

Lastly, after my antics last week, the CPD has placed me on double secret probation for 3 weeks. The required 'energy redirection' classes seem to be working. One week of competition sans outburst. I'm trying to take it one day at a time...

Good work Monkeys, let's get 'W' number 2 next week. Hopefully the Cubs will be able to rebound like we did.

HEY LOOK! A WIN!

2008-09-30T06:41:00.003-05:00

Scot owns the spirit hat, but I thought I would take care of the recap, because he's too busy texting.

Final score (I think) was Crackmonkeys 10, Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal 8.

Our pitcher did not suck as much as he did the week before, which was obviously a plus.

Other highlights of this week:
-Someone (Tyler?) hit a ball, and hit the catcher in the chest. Ouch. She handled it well.
-Someone on the other team hit a ball foul, and nearly killed a man.
-Micki struck out on two pitches. It was the fastest strikeout I've ever seen in the history of the Crackmonkeys.
-Tyler filled in, and had some spectacularly placed hits, and crucial, crucial RBIs. We appreciate that.
-Holly thought about a throw for four seconds, and then threw the ball four feet in front of her, in to the ground.
-Scot showboated in his opportunity at shortstop. Nobody can blame him. He then came to the bar, texted a bit, and went "home."
-Mike still likes the TS&SA first baseman. And says hello. Note that he walked her twice.
-Everybody came out to the bar, which was great to see.
-Oh, and Brad Wall is now the Juggling advisor in Arizona at his school. He's a step away from being a clown.

As a reminder, EVERYONE VOTE ON THE HALLOWEEN POLL!!!!

Volleyball game #1.

2008-09-25T08:37:00.003-05:00

It sucked a lot. Maybe the worst loss in CM history, but....

well, they didn't have an image for "Monkeys will rise again." And I didn't want to use the South will rise again, because, well, that's creepy. No disrespect to my homeys from the south.

But seriously, our game sucked a lot. Alex had an Alex, which was fun for the rest of us, but the referee asked me to calm him down. I asked what I was supposed to do. Classic stuff for Alex and Mike.

We do welcome to the fold Emilie and Kathy, but not Tim.

1st game

2008-09-24T23:26:00.002-05:00

After our first game, I was awarded the coveted nasty-ass spirit sun visor, and Cation informed me that I needed to blog about our first game of the season.

We lost a game where we were clearly the better team. Our opposition in slow pitch softball was terrified to swing the bat, and some of the women on their team appeared to be afraid to even stand in the batter's box. It's unfortunate that we lost, and even more unfortunate that they actually seemed excited and proud to have won a game in that fashion.

As we move on to our next game, I intend to both not get picked off of 2nd and join you guys at Hubers afterward!

A note about Scot

2008-09-18T18:48:00.003-05:00

Today, Scot asked me to play tennis. We warmed up. As we were about to begin play, Scot decided to take off his shirt, because it was too clingy.

I failed in that I didn't take a picture of this display of manliness/boldness, but I was too blinded by his rippling abs.

That is all.

Another one.....cancelled

2008-09-16T09:25:00.003-05:00

Rained out, due to Ike. This game will NOT be made up. So, we're down to a total of six fall league games, which doesn't make me happy, and makes me a little upset that we didn't play LAST week.

Keep it tuned here for future updates on fall league games, and further Crackmonkey activities. Glenn would like to put something together, to capitalize on Micki's dog kicking/cat eating.

Mike

Guaranteed:

2008-09-11T22:08:00.002-05:00

This will hit us Sunday/Monday, and we'll be rained out again.

Las Vegas

2008-09-10T21:42:00.002-05:00

How would everyone feel about April 30-May 2.

So, our first game gets

2008-09-08T20:24:00.003-05:00

rained out.

Bummer.

Tracy, Glenn, and Mike participated in the dinner portion of the Crackmonkey Monday nights, while Glenn and Mike also had the drinks.

Holly was discussed at length.

Michelle and Jamie shopped for paint instead. This is highly disappointing, and makes them seem old and highly domesticated.

Micki....oh, Micki.

A surprise guest appearance was made by Janet Rayfield, also eating dinner at Hubers (edit: let's try Farrens....Mike was thinking of his happy place when he initially wrote this). Nice work.

Other topics discussed at length: Tracy's inability to do any work on excel; extreme coloring; Sarah Palin; Which newscasters are liberal, and which are conservative.

The rest of you were missed.

Leave me alone Mike Cation

2008-09-08T18:01:00.002-05:00

Ok, so the only reason I am posting is that Mike came by my office today and made me:) Glenn said anytime 4 or more people get together someone must blog about it...So last night Glenn, Alex, Tracy, and myself had dinner at El Toro. The chips were good, the cheese sauce was amazing, and the company was ok. Just kidding, it was fun hearing about all the tailgating stories. It sounded like everyone behaved since I did not get any complaints from the parking attendants:)

Until my next post....which could be awhile...Have a great week!!

Crackmonkey Dilemna!

2008-09-04T14:27:00.002-05:00

So I was wondering will there be more Crackmonkey gatherings? Will there be a cracked out tailgate for that matter, or a Crackmonkey dodgeball team?

Feeling Like I'm Home Again

2008-09-03T22:36:00.002-05:00

Got to spend some time with Mike and Glenn this past weekend. Had a grand time. Almost as important, I got my brown CrackMonkey T-shirt. I've been waiting a long time for this thing. I almost cried a little bit.

My top 10 things I miss about Champoo-Banana
10) The 1.8 mile commute.
9) Being able to walk between bars.
8) Lil' Porgy's Chicken.
7) Cost of living.
6) Mandarin Wok Chinese Eggplant in Garlic Sauce.
5) Total freedom.
4) Bamba.
3) Playing softball with the Monkies (and the Nutz).
2) Awesome tickets to Illini sporting events.
1) Watching Mikey's love hate relationship with his "celebrity". :)