New Season

With the start of a new season, it is generally customary for the veterans to share useful tips with then newcomers.

So in an attempt to save you some fines, here is an instructional video:



See you all next Sunday.

One big win in the books....

Our first game is now in the books, and this is your Captain speaking. I'm honored to have received the spirit award for not having legs that responded the way I expect them to. More about that in a minute.

The game got off to a pretty slow start. It took the Monkeys 3 innings to get the bats in order, as we were as cold as the weather, as evidenced by our 3 fans in the picture. The Treehuggers took a 3-nothing lead based on Mike's inability to play with a small ball in his hand, and a couple of solid hits for them.

Eventually, things began going our way. Alex hit the team's first home run of the year...Michelle Ryan made multiple good plays on defense, including a lunge/fall to tag someone out at first...Derek Houston tried to direct traffic in the outfield from his unusual spot at second, which looked like he was giving a Micki special to some...

Eventually, we had a 20-6 victory. For yours truly, it was an eventful one. After pitching 3 innings with mixed success, I went to the outfield to try my hand out there. So, I had run 13 miles on Saturday night (Lookatme!), and was still a little tired from a long few days. There was a ball hit to short left, and I sprinted towards it. I knew that running through it, I couldn't catch it. So I decided to dive. Unfortunately, what should have been a lay out that looked like a slide ended up with my knees just catching the ground and me sprawling on the ground, because my knees and calves didn't want to push off. As a result, this morning, I've got one lumpy right knee, because of the massive bruise. Brilliant.

Also, in what I believe to be a first in Crackmonkey softball, I intentionally got an out to end the top of the 6th inning, with the score 20-6. It was cold and windy, everyone wanted to go home, and despite having ducks on the pond, I hit a two bouncer back to the pitcher, on purpose, so we could start going home.

All in all, a successful game, and something to build on for next week, when we're shorthanded once again.

Lots of love.

El Captain

Please post the games you won't make in the comments section here.

Or, if you can, on the actual schedule itself, which would be really helpful!

A new season is nearly upon us:

We start in just over one month.

GET READY!

Great time in Vegas......

One of these two people was seen at a poker table this weekend. The other was my roommate for the weekend. You choose.

Back from Vegas after a terrific weekend. Very happy to have been able to share some quality time with Julia, Leigh, Louis, Kalleen and Boom Boom. We had some great experiences, including a night at Moon in the Palms, great gambling, and yes, our first real celebrity sightings in all of our trips. Thanks to a celebrity poker tournament being held at the Venetian, we saw Tito Ortiz, Joanna Krupa, Jason Alexander, Christian Slater, and yes, Donnie Wahlberg from New Kids. And yes, Leigh did indeed get a kiss from him. It was a magical moment for her.

For me, I got to watch the Poker Stars North American Poker Tour event at the Venetian from the rail. For me, it was amazing to be able to stand a foot behind guys like Greg Raymer, Barry Greenstein, and Daniel Negreanu, and figure out what they're doing, and what the others at the table. They're consistently making correct decisions, which is why playing poker is clearly a game of skill.

This was evidenced in the poker tournament that Louis and I played in on Friday morning. I played pretty well, I thought, but just got unlucky. I had a guy dead to rights after reading him well, and he got lucky and hit a card. Later on, he essentially crippled me, and then Louis knocked me out of the tournament, mercifully. But I was most happy about the fact that I made good calls, and good reads, and I think I'm getting better overall.

We also ate some spectacular buffet meals, and if I can, I'd like to make a recommendation for anyone planning a trip out there to stay at the Rio. It will be well worth your time. The rooms are huge, the buffet is great, and there is a shuttle to and from the strip. Well worth it.

Now, I'm back at work, and the grind is back on. 2 tennis matches and a basketball game this weekend. Baseball is around the corner. It's all good.

Note:

The Crackmonkeys need to develop a curling team.

Pronto.

Pre-Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

Just wanted to give you a look at what you can borrow for the upcoming party.

Any takers?

OH HAI!

well, i'll start by apologizing for being so negligent and late with my post. so much for my spirit award!! :)

our season finale ended in true monkey fashion... with a big bang! nothing like a 10-run rule win to go out on. it was good to see mike return to the mound and conquer his fears as he lead us out of the season with his fine managerial and pitching skills. special thanks to mike for being our fearless leader through out the season! it's been an exciting season, scot got new shoes, after all. our crew of extremely competent gals were joined by a new member, little d.-- a fine f*cking addition to the team! we had the first monkey kicked out of the park, that i'm aware of anyway. alex, i think you just must have been too tense that evening, we should have prepared better. ;) we also learned that in my advancing age, sometimes getting around all 4 bases makes it tricky for me to stay on my feet. we had some great subs, some super fans, including lots of parents this year. you all are a talented, great bunch of folks and so much fun to play with. i'm proud to be a monkey. looking really forward to the social activities this fall, do we need to form committee? by popular demand, bowling and pizza is up first. let's start looking for a date, can't wait to see you all!

p.s. i don't intend for this to serve as the comprehensive season recap, i'll put someone more clever in charge of that!

A win just wasn't in the cards for us yesterday. Any time it takes seven innings to get your first run, it's going to be tough going. With that said, I thought we played some solid defense throughout the game. Only giving up 7 runs (0 in their last 4 at bats) to a team that had multiple balls travel over the fence and a host of women that can hit the ball farther than I can is saying something about our team defense.

On a personal note, I want to thank you all for standing by me as I got through my first full game back on the hill after the incident. Without the positive reinforcement throughout the game I may very well have snapped and been tossed once again. The anger management classes, for which Webbie and Mike are sponsoring me, are paying off. Also, I am comfortable with a team decision that revokes my bar selection privileges for the fall. My feelings won't be hurt.

Congrats to Julia and Mike for completing their half marathon. I'm guessing you're quite sore today but I know the feeling of finishing and it is something special. Enjoy it and, who knows, maybe we can have a group of CrackMonkeys run the Illinois Half Marathon or relay next spring.

One more to go Monkeys. Let's make the most of it!

Back with a vengance

The Crackmonkeys put one back in the win column in spite of torrential rain and some 6th inning violence. Everyone picked up their game and rallied to keep championship hopes alive. The game was highlighted by stellar defense and timely hitting (both the ball and the knee), which proved too much for the Underdogs with a final score of 11-9.

In true Crackmonkey fashion, here are some shout-outs:

• Special thanks to our cheering section of Julia and her family, Michelle's parents, and anyone else out there who bled Crackmonkey yellow.
• Also thanks to Rick who pitched a great game and was extremely solid with the bat.
• Great job by the infield (Bav, Glenn, A Voss, Jamie, Micki, Michelle R) catching some line drives and making big time plays to get some outs.
• The outfield (Webbie, Jamie, Cation, Scot, Little D) did an outstanding job getting to some balls and making plays.

Highlights:

• Cation's toss from RCF to 2nd, which would have been great if he hadn't thrown it at Alex's back.
• Scot's D Wise impression in the OF.
• Scot's T Harding impression on the base path.
• Michelle R's attempt to take out her Mom with a foul ball.
  
• Little D's performance at f***ing El Toro.

Let's get 'em again next week!

Happy Birthday to:

regular season ends

The crackmonkeys ended the regular season with an eventful two weeks. We played a heated, but well-played game hungover (see below) to win our 7/12 game. Some teams play well under stress and a good hangover, others don't. We do. Motion for monkey post-game drinking to be moved to monkey pre-game drinking starting saturday night. In our last game of the season (7/19) we faced a tough team that hit all the right places along with some great defensive plays. Some highlights below....


1. Completion of the "World Famous First Annual Chocolate Thunder All-Star Invitational Mid-Summer Classic, Charity Bar Crawl" - good times were had by all - including those around the world that received loving keepsake messages from Mr. Mike Cation. On Saturday July 11th the crackmonkeys invaded bars across the champaign-urbana area, including notables campus favorite Kam's, wet 'n wild day at Station, a pair of blind pigs, and a finale at C street. Time to start training for next year!

2. First ever crackmonkey ejection (see previous post for details). Hopefully first and last!

3. Four pitchers in one game...and a win.

4. Great hitting all around. Girls are forcing the outfield to recognize, and guys are hitting the gaps to get runs in. Great D in the outfield both weeks: Tony, little-D (that's official right?), Cation, Jamie, Voss, Glenn, D, and Webbie. Great pickups at first base by D. Second base matrix moves by Bav. Short-stop looks easy monkeystyle by Jamie, Scot, Cation, and Voss. Great job by Michelle to stay calm and keep game up during all the pitching drama. And holding down the hot corner Glenn, Micki, and Jamie.

On to the post season! See you saturday.

This is late, but here's a recap of a 15-8 win, with the first ever Crackmonkey ejection:

Mr. Whiteley,

I am emailing you regarding my ejection during the 7:00 pm Crackmonkey/Plastipak game and asking you to consider waiving the 1-game suspension based on the circumstances surrounding my ejection.

I replaced our starting pitcher in the 3rd inning of the game. After being called for illegal pitches that were too high I was becoming frustrated with myself as I wasn't throwing strikes. On one pitch that I felt was a strike which was called a ball, I asked our umpire where the pitch was and he informed me it was too high. I felt I asked calmly and was merely asking for direction on what I needed to do to throw strikes. During the first few batters I feel the only actions I made showing frustration were that I caught 2 balls thrown from the catcher with my throwing hand and not my glove and also bounced the ball off the field back to myself twice.

Facing the next batter or two after I asked about the pitch mentioned above, I threw 2 balls for a 3-1 count. The next pitch I threw I felt was the best pitch of the day, it landed and the umpire hesitated but called it a strike. After the catcher threw the ball back to me I spoke, to myself, "That better effing (I did use the word) be a strike, Jesus Christ." I felt it was a quiet comment to myself and didn't feel I was addressing the umpire whatsoever. After the game our catcher and first baseman both said they didn't hear what I said. At this point our umpire yelled at me "One more word about balls and strikes, and you might as well be talking to your centerfielder, because you'll be out of here." To cordially acknowledge that I got the point I raised my hand and calmly replied "Thank you." At this point I was thrown out of the game.

Upon leaving the field, because I had a sense the umpire was extremely annoyed with me and I'm not aware of the protocol on whether ejected players need to leave the field, I asked the umpire if he'd like me to leave. He then yelled back at me to get out of here. I admit once this was said, I did throw my glove into the dugout fence, but then calmly left the field and waited for the end of the game in the parking lot.

I truly feel once the warning was given after my comment to myself that I was as polite as I could be in addressing the umpire and was letting him know he wouldn't hear anything from me. Also, multiple members of the opposing team and other non-team affiliated spectators were shocked that I was in fact ejected. In light of this I feel the 1-game suspension outlined in the league rules is an unnecessary penalty in this situation.

I appreciate your consideration and am willing to discuss this matter further if you deem necessary.

Jimmy John's is Freaky Fast...

...when it comes to getting out in a softball game. Great job this week Monkeys, I think everyone left the field with a big grin. There's nothing like beating down a bunch of striped softball pant wearers by the 10 run mercy rule in 5 innings. Surprisingly, Jimmy himself was gracious in defeat, sending us this photo congratulating us on our victory.

Special props to Jason, today's Spirit Award winner. Jason subjected himself to a triple dosage of athletic activity today playing a 3 hour, 3 set singles match, a mixed doubles match, and then tonight's contest. Good luck getting out of bed tomorrow.

Other events of note:

-Webbie and Jamie's bombs over the outfielder's heads
-Tony flashing the leather out in left center
-Derek helping Micki slam on the breaks at 3rd
-Denise & Glenn's big cuts
-The battery of Alex and Michelle allowing only 1 run through 5 innings (way to call a great game Michelle)

Great D all around team. Happy 4th of July and let's rest up for the bar crawl!

It was a hot one...

Despite a valiant effort, the Crackmonkeys unfortunately fell to victim to the Green Street Cafe crew, 8-9, early Sunday evening. We fought it out until the end but eventually the heat and the baseball pants got to us. Everyone made a fantastic effort to put on the rally hats in the end!

Here are some equally fantastic highlights:

- The bullpen (Alex) stepped up to the challenge
- Scot's two-game in-the-park-home-run streak
- Denise chasing down multiple foul balls to the fence
- Solid outfield performances by Denise, Mike, Jamie, Glenn, and Tony
- 32 oz Margarita's at El Toro Bravo

Thanks again to Maggie and Jasmine for their help this week! Let's kick some Jimmy John's butt Sunday!

Just for giggles...

hits all around

In the last round of games sunday the monkeys took the field against HDC. Although down quite a few girls, Denise, Anna, and Beef stepped it up and the rest is history. Monkeys win 19-6. I'm quite honored to receive my first ever spirit award for not communicating with my husband and making a stunning catch in the process. More highlights from the game:

-single t's in-the-park homerun
-alex got his mojo back
-offensive explosion in the 3rd inning while down two outs
-cation and denise tearin' up the outfield
-tony battling through alcohol and meat detox
-derek and glenn holding down the hot corner
-webbie personal best for fine contribution

Everyone wish Cation a good trip down under, and we'll see you next week!

No points for second place

It was a hard fought game, but ultimately the Crackmonkeys couldn't pull it out in the end (that's what she said). But in spite of the loss (6-10), there are many highlights worth mentioning:

* Micki's graceful slide into home that might, or might not have been on purpose

* Macy's pregame crawling/climbing/smiling/eating cheerios

* One of the Michelle's pulling both quads and then claiming to be old (The Bav)

* One of the Michelle's being called out for stepping out of an invisible batter's box (Webbie)

* Scot taking out his frustration by beaning a base runner trying to get back to first

* The waitress at Office II screwing up Derek's food order

* Derek trashing Office II because he didn't get his food

Better luck next week, team!

The Streak Continues...

What can I say, another run barrage, another Crack Monkey victory! As this is my first recap, ever, I hope to impress only a few, as i don't want to set the bar too high. So, here we go! The highlights:

• Our 9 run first inning - for some reason it seemed that we were playing like old men, one single and one base at a time.
• Glenn's love for making the routine seemingly spectacular and the spectacular routine.
• Mike and his tremendous left center abilities
• Webby's nack for knowing when a fair ball will become foul even though it was fair!
• Tony's sticky shoes
• Mickey's constant updates
• Jamie's cannon - I forgot how hard she throws
• Michelle's excellent catching job - kept Voss in the game
• Voss's magnanimous pitching performance
• Scott's marvelous impersonation of a first base coach
• My hamy, ouch, my hamy!

I hope this works. We kicked butt. We will continue the shalacking next week!

Redemption

After a drought hitting last week, the Crankmonkeys came back with a fury scoring a total of 17 runs with an eight run fifth inning. It was a solid performance all around, capped by Alex trying to enact revenge on the pitcher for Mike's left nut, only to be thwarted by the quick reflexes of his glove. I guess we will have to wait until the post-season to try again. We have a week off to prepare for the next game. Enjoy the rest!!!

At a loss for words

Well, we knew it was going to be a rough night when:

a) Scot had to add an additional roll of tape to his cleat.

b) We were forced to endure pineapple rum (well those of us who are alcoholics)

c) Micki and Mike slow danced to "Reunited" after not seeing each other since Christmas

Yes, we experienced our first loss of the season. It wasn't a pounding, but not exactly a first rate Crackmonkey outing. The bats were as dull as Glenn's morning after gin headache. Not even a fifth inning "everyone rotate to the next position" could wake us up.

We were certainly not without bright spots though. Alex made his pitching debut of the season and did an excellent job. Mike made a dramatic leaping catch that surely impressed Julia. Micki screetched about playing left field but then did a great job.

Oh well, better luck next time.

P.S. Diet Dr. Pepper and pineapple rum tastes like baby aspirin.

Jamie

Another Win

With part of the team out living it up in Vegas, we battled for another hard-fought victory. Special thanks to Jayson and Mike, who had some key hits and were very steady in the field. Other highlights include:

-Glenn's clutch homerun.

-Glenn almost passed out on the bench after his homerun.

-Scot finding out he was supposed to pitch 30 minutes before the game.

-Michelle being listed as "The Bav" on the game roster.

-"The Bav's" slide into home, and the resulting scrape.

-Micki tossing her hat to get to (and catch) some foul balls.

-Scot waiting 3 days to get the blog updated. Better late than never. (Sorry Mike)

Well....game one is in the books.....

So, normally, the Spirit Hat award winner has to do the game recap, however, Beef was a fill-in, so we didn't make her do it.
Let's see. Some highlights from last night's thrilling 17-11 victory:
-Mike in full on panic mode about pitching.
-Sue's hair.
-Glenn running past Sue.
-Alex slowing down twice, yet still hitting a "home run."
-Michelle Ryan's heartfelt "ohhhhhh."
-Scot and Jamie's struggles with the wind.
-Tony's half slide, followed by running home after 3 beers.
-Webbie's gapper.
-Holly getting angry at the umpire, then wondering, "Did he hear me?"

Alex, Webbie, and I will be gone next week. WIN WIN WIN without us. Glenn is captain. Good luck to all of you.

Softball starts sunday....practice Saturday at 5:30 at Carrie Busey...

And who wants to guess who wrote this. (and I am NOT by any means mocking what happened)

Our home was robbed last week including our computer. Both our
e-mails have been compromised and therefore we will be changing our
e-mail addresses. Please stop using this e-mail immediately. Thank
you.