Pre-Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

Just wanted to give you a look at what you can borrow for the upcoming party.

Any takers?

OH HAI!

well, i'll start by apologizing for being so negligent and late with my post. so much for my spirit award!! :)

our season finale ended in true monkey fashion... with a big bang! nothing like a 10-run rule win to go out on. it was good to see mike return to the mound and conquer his fears as he lead us out of the season with his fine managerial and pitching skills. special thanks to mike for being our fearless leader through out the season! it's been an exciting season, scot got new shoes, after all. our crew of extremely competent gals were joined by a new member, little d.-- a fine f*cking addition to the team! we had the first monkey kicked out of the park, that i'm aware of anyway. alex, i think you just must have been too tense that evening, we should have prepared better. ;) we also learned that in my advancing age, sometimes getting around all 4 bases makes it tricky for me to stay on my feet. we had some great subs, some super fans, including lots of parents this year. you all are a talented, great bunch of folks and so much fun to play with. i'm proud to be a monkey. looking really forward to the social activities this fall, do we need to form committee? by popular demand, bowling and pizza is up first. let's start looking for a date, can't wait to see you all!

p.s. i don't intend for this to serve as the comprehensive season recap, i'll put someone more clever in charge of that!

A win just wasn't in the cards for us yesterday. Any time it takes seven innings to get your first run, it's going to be tough going. With that said, I thought we played some solid defense throughout the game. Only giving up 7 runs (0 in their last 4 at bats) to a team that had multiple balls travel over the fence and a host of women that can hit the ball farther than I can is saying something about our team defense.

On a personal note, I want to thank you all for standing by me as I got through my first full game back on the hill after the incident. Without the positive reinforcement throughout the game I may very well have snapped and been tossed once again. The anger management classes, for which Webbie and Mike are sponsoring me, are paying off. Also, I am comfortable with a team decision that revokes my bar selection privileges for the fall. My feelings won't be hurt.

Congrats to Julia and Mike for completing their half marathon. I'm guessing you're quite sore today but I know the feeling of finishing and it is something special. Enjoy it and, who knows, maybe we can have a group of CrackMonkeys run the Illinois Half Marathon or relay next spring.

One more to go Monkeys. Let's make the most of it!

Back with a vengance

The Crackmonkeys put one back in the win column in spite of torrential rain and some 6th inning violence. Everyone picked up their game and rallied to keep championship hopes alive. The game was highlighted by stellar defense and timely hitting (both the ball and the knee), which proved too much for the Underdogs with a final score of 11-9.

In true Crackmonkey fashion, here are some shout-outs:

• Special thanks to our cheering section of Julia and her family, Michelle's parents, and anyone else out there who bled Crackmonkey yellow.
• Also thanks to Rick who pitched a great game and was extremely solid with the bat.
• Great job by the infield (Bav, Glenn, A Voss, Jamie, Micki, Michelle R) catching some line drives and making big time plays to get some outs.
• The outfield (Webbie, Jamie, Cation, Scot, Little D) did an outstanding job getting to some balls and making plays.

Highlights:

• Cation's toss from RCF to 2nd, which would have been great if he hadn't thrown it at Alex's back.
• Scot's D Wise impression in the OF.
• Scot's T Harding impression on the base path.
• Michelle R's attempt to take out her Mom with a foul ball.
  
• Little D's performance at f***ing El Toro.

Let's get 'em again next week!

Happy Birthday to:

regular season ends

The crackmonkeys ended the regular season with an eventful two weeks. We played a heated, but well-played game hungover (see below) to win our 7/12 game. Some teams play well under stress and a good hangover, others don't. We do. Motion for monkey post-game drinking to be moved to monkey pre-game drinking starting saturday night. In our last game of the season (7/19) we faced a tough team that hit all the right places along with some great defensive plays. Some highlights below....


1. Completion of the "World Famous First Annual Chocolate Thunder All-Star Invitational Mid-Summer Classic, Charity Bar Crawl" - good times were had by all - including those around the world that received loving keepsake messages from Mr. Mike Cation. On Saturday July 11th the crackmonkeys invaded bars across the champaign-urbana area, including notables campus favorite Kam's, wet 'n wild day at Station, a pair of blind pigs, and a finale at C street. Time to start training for next year!

2. First ever crackmonkey ejection (see previous post for details). Hopefully first and last!

3. Four pitchers in one game...and a win.

4. Great hitting all around. Girls are forcing the outfield to recognize, and guys are hitting the gaps to get runs in. Great D in the outfield both weeks: Tony, little-D (that's official right?), Cation, Jamie, Voss, Glenn, D, and Webbie. Great pickups at first base by D. Second base matrix moves by Bav. Short-stop looks easy monkeystyle by Jamie, Scot, Cation, and Voss. Great job by Michelle to stay calm and keep game up during all the pitching drama. And holding down the hot corner Glenn, Micki, and Jamie.

On to the post season! See you saturday.

This is late, but here's a recap of a 15-8 win, with the first ever Crackmonkey ejection:

Mr. Whiteley,

I am emailing you regarding my ejection during the 7:00 pm Crackmonkey/Plastipak game and asking you to consider waiving the 1-game suspension based on the circumstances surrounding my ejection.

I replaced our starting pitcher in the 3rd inning of the game. After being called for illegal pitches that were too high I was becoming frustrated with myself as I wasn't throwing strikes. On one pitch that I felt was a strike which was called a ball, I asked our umpire where the pitch was and he informed me it was too high. I felt I asked calmly and was merely asking for direction on what I needed to do to throw strikes. During the first few batters I feel the only actions I made showing frustration were that I caught 2 balls thrown from the catcher with my throwing hand and not my glove and also bounced the ball off the field back to myself twice.

Facing the next batter or two after I asked about the pitch mentioned above, I threw 2 balls for a 3-1 count. The next pitch I threw I felt was the best pitch of the day, it landed and the umpire hesitated but called it a strike. After the catcher threw the ball back to me I spoke, to myself, "That better effing (I did use the word) be a strike, Jesus Christ." I felt it was a quiet comment to myself and didn't feel I was addressing the umpire whatsoever. After the game our catcher and first baseman both said they didn't hear what I said. At this point our umpire yelled at me "One more word about balls and strikes, and you might as well be talking to your centerfielder, because you'll be out of here." To cordially acknowledge that I got the point I raised my hand and calmly replied "Thank you." At this point I was thrown out of the game.

Upon leaving the field, because I had a sense the umpire was extremely annoyed with me and I'm not aware of the protocol on whether ejected players need to leave the field, I asked the umpire if he'd like me to leave. He then yelled back at me to get out of here. I admit once this was said, I did throw my glove into the dugout fence, but then calmly left the field and waited for the end of the game in the parking lot.

I truly feel once the warning was given after my comment to myself that I was as polite as I could be in addressing the umpire and was letting him know he wouldn't hear anything from me. Also, multiple members of the opposing team and other non-team affiliated spectators were shocked that I was in fact ejected. In light of this I feel the 1-game suspension outlined in the league rules is an unnecessary penalty in this situation.

I appreciate your consideration and am willing to discuss this matter further if you deem necessary.

Jimmy John's is Freaky Fast...

...when it comes to getting out in a softball game. Great job this week Monkeys, I think everyone left the field with a big grin. There's nothing like beating down a bunch of striped softball pant wearers by the 10 run mercy rule in 5 innings. Surprisingly, Jimmy himself was gracious in defeat, sending us this photo congratulating us on our victory.

Special props to Jason, today's Spirit Award winner. Jason subjected himself to a triple dosage of athletic activity today playing a 3 hour, 3 set singles match, a mixed doubles match, and then tonight's contest. Good luck getting out of bed tomorrow.

Other events of note:

-Webbie and Jamie's bombs over the outfielder's heads
-Tony flashing the leather out in left center
-Derek helping Micki slam on the breaks at 3rd
-Denise & Glenn's big cuts
-The battery of Alex and Michelle allowing only 1 run through 5 innings (way to call a great game Michelle)

Great D all around team. Happy 4th of July and let's rest up for the bar crawl!

It was a hot one...

Despite a valiant effort, the Crackmonkeys unfortunately fell to victim to the Green Street Cafe crew, 8-9, early Sunday evening. We fought it out until the end but eventually the heat and the baseball pants got to us. Everyone made a fantastic effort to put on the rally hats in the end!

Here are some equally fantastic highlights:

- The bullpen (Alex) stepped up to the challenge
- Scot's two-game in-the-park-home-run streak
- Denise chasing down multiple foul balls to the fence
- Solid outfield performances by Denise, Mike, Jamie, Glenn, and Tony
- 32 oz Margarita's at El Toro Bravo

Thanks again to Maggie and Jasmine for their help this week! Let's kick some Jimmy John's butt Sunday!

Just for giggles...

hits all around

In the last round of games sunday the monkeys took the field against HDC. Although down quite a few girls, Denise, Anna, and Beef stepped it up and the rest is history. Monkeys win 19-6. I'm quite honored to receive my first ever spirit award for not communicating with my husband and making a stunning catch in the process. More highlights from the game:

-single t's in-the-park homerun
-alex got his mojo back
-offensive explosion in the 3rd inning while down two outs
-cation and denise tearin' up the outfield
-tony battling through alcohol and meat detox
-derek and glenn holding down the hot corner
-webbie personal best for fine contribution

Everyone wish Cation a good trip down under, and we'll see you next week!

No points for second place

It was a hard fought game, but ultimately the Crackmonkeys couldn't pull it out in the end (that's what she said). But in spite of the loss (6-10), there are many highlights worth mentioning:

* Micki's graceful slide into home that might, or might not have been on purpose

* Macy's pregame crawling/climbing/smiling/eating cheerios

* One of the Michelle's pulling both quads and then claiming to be old (The Bav)

* One of the Michelle's being called out for stepping out of an invisible batter's box (Webbie)

* Scot taking out his frustration by beaning a base runner trying to get back to first

* The waitress at Office II screwing up Derek's food order

* Derek trashing Office II because he didn't get his food

Better luck next week, team!

The Streak Continues...

What can I say, another run barrage, another Crack Monkey victory! As this is my first recap, ever, I hope to impress only a few, as i don't want to set the bar too high. So, here we go! The highlights:

• Our 9 run first inning - for some reason it seemed that we were playing like old men, one single and one base at a time.
• Glenn's love for making the routine seemingly spectacular and the spectacular routine.
• Mike and his tremendous left center abilities
• Webby's nack for knowing when a fair ball will become foul even though it was fair!
• Tony's sticky shoes
• Mickey's constant updates
• Jamie's cannon - I forgot how hard she throws
• Michelle's excellent catching job - kept Voss in the game
• Voss's magnanimous pitching performance
• Scott's marvelous impersonation of a first base coach
• My hamy, ouch, my hamy!

I hope this works. We kicked butt. We will continue the shalacking next week!

Redemption

After a drought hitting last week, the Crankmonkeys came back with a fury scoring a total of 17 runs with an eight run fifth inning. It was a solid performance all around, capped by Alex trying to enact revenge on the pitcher for Mike's left nut, only to be thwarted by the quick reflexes of his glove. I guess we will have to wait until the post-season to try again. We have a week off to prepare for the next game. Enjoy the rest!!!

At a loss for words

Well, we knew it was going to be a rough night when:

a) Scot had to add an additional roll of tape to his cleat.

b) We were forced to endure pineapple rum (well those of us who are alcoholics)

c) Micki and Mike slow danced to "Reunited" after not seeing each other since Christmas

Yes, we experienced our first loss of the season. It wasn't a pounding, but not exactly a first rate Crackmonkey outing. The bats were as dull as Glenn's morning after gin headache. Not even a fifth inning "everyone rotate to the next position" could wake us up.

We were certainly not without bright spots though. Alex made his pitching debut of the season and did an excellent job. Mike made a dramatic leaping catch that surely impressed Julia. Micki screetched about playing left field but then did a great job.

Oh well, better luck next time.

P.S. Diet Dr. Pepper and pineapple rum tastes like baby aspirin.

Jamie

Another Win

With part of the team out living it up in Vegas, we battled for another hard-fought victory. Special thanks to Jayson and Mike, who had some key hits and were very steady in the field. Other highlights include:

-Glenn's clutch homerun.

-Glenn almost passed out on the bench after his homerun.

-Scot finding out he was supposed to pitch 30 minutes before the game.

-Michelle being listed as "The Bav" on the game roster.

-"The Bav's" slide into home, and the resulting scrape.

-Micki tossing her hat to get to (and catch) some foul balls.

-Scot waiting 3 days to get the blog updated. Better late than never. (Sorry Mike)

Well....game one is in the books.....

So, normally, the Spirit Hat award winner has to do the game recap, however, Beef was a fill-in, so we didn't make her do it.
Let's see. Some highlights from last night's thrilling 17-11 victory:
-Mike in full on panic mode about pitching.
-Sue's hair.
-Glenn running past Sue.
-Alex slowing down twice, yet still hitting a "home run."
-Michelle Ryan's heartfelt "ohhhhhh."
-Scot and Jamie's struggles with the wind.
-Tony's half slide, followed by running home after 3 beers.
-Webbie's gapper.
-Holly getting angry at the umpire, then wondering, "Did he hear me?"

Alex, Webbie, and I will be gone next week. WIN WIN WIN without us. Glenn is captain. Good luck to all of you.

Softball starts sunday....practice Saturday at 5:30 at Carrie Busey...

And who wants to guess who wrote this. (and I am NOT by any means mocking what happened)

Our home was robbed last week including our computer. Both our
e-mails have been compromised and therefore we will be changing our
e-mail addresses. Please stop using this e-mail immediately. Thank
you.

....

Us.

In addition to the 2008 Summer Softball Championship, I'm happy to announce that the Crackmonkeys have won the 2009 Spring Volleyball league. A solid performance was turned in on Wednesday night, overcoming a 9 point deficit in game one, and a 7 point deficit in game two, to sweep Joe and his lovely young men out to their cars, moaning the whole way.
Kudos to Jill for her continuously solid play, and passing..
Kathy for setting the hell out of the ball...
Amber for a series of clutch serves in game two...
Alex for being big on the block, and continuing to swing...
James for talking shit...
and Mike...well, at least he wore his Crackmonkey shirt, and won a joust.

For Alex and I, this means a week off until the start of softball season. For the rest of the Monkeys, there's time off until the fall season.

There will be a celebratory party at some point. And another trip to Las Vegas.

Tour de Tony

This was my first adventure with the Tony Cappa. You've heard the audio...now see the visual...

Tony's mug shot: La Bamba after the bar. Julia, Mike and Tony are ready to eat...and enter a construction site...

After dropping Julia off, we needed Baskin Robbins and doughnuts. This is us posing with our treats in front of Mike's old apartment. Why, you ask? Cause we can! The next stop on the tour of the drunken Tony, was the Illini Radio Group. Yes, this is where the audio magic happened. As you can see from this photo, he's beginning to wind down.
This is Mike and his Gold Medal Ribbon stained face at the end of the night. After we successfully dropped off the Tony to his girls, we had nothing left to party for and we retreated to Casa de Cation.

Posted without comment....

While we had snow during our break from Volleyball...

She could have been playing beach volleyball...instead...

Poker night recap

As everyone left the house with their clothes, I think poker night was a success. We ended up having eleven players with the top three finishers being Tony, Mike, and Anhill (I think that is how you spell it). There was a variety of food, a few drinks (or a few too many for some people), and interesting enough, three quads dealt for the night. Jill and I will try to host another poker night in the upcoming months. Much thanks to everyone who showed up.

Oh piss off....

We lost. We will rise again.

Championship match

It will be Wednesday at 8:15 at the Leonhard Center. Please attend if you have some time. It's against James' former team.

Disfunctional Family-Recap of 3/11

Our final "regular season" volleyball game saw the following:
Kathy continued to be the silent leader.
Alex laid off and believed Mike to be drunk.
Mike appeared to be drunk.
James may have been drunk.
Amber ran a mile.
Jill practiced her fist bump.

Regardless, a win was had, and we've clinched at least a tie for the regular season championship, which will be decided next week.

For no reason, I give you Beef and Voss...

Enjoy.

Poker night

All crackmonkeys are invited for a Texas Hold'em night at Jill and Tony's house on Saturday, March 28th at 7:00 p.m. The stakes will be small. Usually we do a $5 buy-in and then manage it like a tournament with blinds going up every 12-15 minutes. Novice and pros alike are welcome, except for Glenn, since he was giving my wife a hard time on previous blog posts.

We will have a few snacks and drinks, but feel free to bring any other thing your heart may desire. If you could comment back to let me know how many will attend, that would be great. Hopefully we can get around 8-10, more if possible.

I will send an email out closer to the event with directions.

A bit sloppy, but...

The CrackMonkeys got another win on Wednesday night in two straight games.

The match was marked by sloppy play, for sure, but was notable for the first ever opportunity for the original six members of this year's squad to play together. That being James, Alex, Mike, Jill, Kathy, and Beef. There was some definite rotational issues, but they were worked out late in the games, both of which saw big CrackMonkey runs.
And not the bad kind of runs.

Also of note from Wednesday's game: Amber's hair looked perfect. Jill brought back her fun grunts/sounds. Alex swung away. James played his good friend, and survived. Kathy showed pictures of cookies.

The mocking of the Jills....

Mr. T says, "He pity da' foo! Who doesn't do post game wrap-ups."

Also, "Quitters never win, and Winners never quit!"

Don't be a quitter ma'am......

Recap, since Jill won't do it.

This week, our team took on a solid blocking team in Aces and Knee Braces. Their team featured one man who was old, cranky, and pissed off. During the game, the Crackmonkeys got off to a 12-4 start, but lost the first set, due to some shaky hitting, serving errors, and other general badness. In not so stunning fashion, we came back in sets two and three behind the swings of Alex and James, and the passing of everyone else.
Drinks were then had by James, Alex, and Mike.

Now, on to Jill. Jill has requested to be taken off of the Crackmonkey blog as a contributor. I say we now proceed to mock her incessantly until she returns. I have already begun the process with this week's post.

This is Jill Cappa, pre-Monkeys.

Let's try this....

For the record, Alex, he started it.

Scary Time

Good job to the four Monkeys who battled with me to a three set win. MVP honors to Judd for the Most in-Visible Player of the night. Thanks Judd! Highlights of the night include...

- Mike taunting the opponent's fearless leader with some friendly in your face clapping (tried to find a good pic of some intense taunting but this is the best I could do).

- Jill proclaiming pre-match that there was a good chance her pants would fall down. Those of you not in attendance will be left in suspense as to whether they actually did or not.

- Amber showing off her shoulder blades. Really hot stuff!

- Kathy's daughter cements herself as the Crackmonkeys' number 1 fan, with runner-up honors going to Julia.

Get some rest, Friday is going to be a long one for some of us.

Photos from last week

So as it turns out, volleyball is incredibly fast.

Also, I thought I'd be further away from the court and thus brought the wrong camera lens. Maybe next time the photos will be better.

Enjoy!

http://picasaweb.google.com/thfield/CrackmonkeysVBall?feat=directlink

Remaining undefeated with a huge win over Joe's Auto Body

25-13, 25-17.
Face down, ass up indeed.

Thanks to Glenn, Tyler, the Hugs, and Webbie for the fan support.
Our best to Tony and Jill, who we really missed.

We're coming to get you.....Nefarious dealings!

We will descend upon the volleyball-Monkeys like a swarm of locusts!

Heard you all have a big game.

We will come cheer.

You will win.

Then there will be celebration.

Gratuitous cross-post on post game nefarious-nefarious plan.

-Excelsior!

--edit updated post here.

On my single leg:

We officially welcomed James Ivaska to the CrackMonkey family this week.
James does not own a television, nor does he have a car with a radio, so therefore, he hears a lot of music in clubs, while dancing.
This includes the Beyonce song "Single Ladies"
James, while hearing the song in a club, heavy with bass and practically inaudible lyrics, believed Beyonce to be singing "On My Single Leg"
This is what I believe to be his dance, offering a hand to put a ring on it.

On a side note, we won our volleyball match in two crap-filled sets.

Here is a video:

Monkeys Beat Salmon

The Crackmonkeys are a perfect 3-0 after eating the Slammin Salmons, 2-0 on Wednesday night. It was a game that summed up Monkey volleyball very well....utter destruction in game one, and complete disinterest in game two, minus our supersub Jamie, who continued to outplay everyone else.

We were happy to welcome Kathy back to the fold. She did not disappoint, and made Mike hit entirely too much.

Also, the two Monkey children, Taylor and Macey, were incredibly well behaved. Which means we all have some work to do.

Congratulations to Alex, who drew the first blood of the year, on his hand. Luckily, he did not infect the rest of us with his herp.

Other than that, it was an uneventful night of volleyball, a good night of drinking, and great preparation for the Grilling of the Meats 9, this Sunday at Alex's house. Any questions, please contact Mike or Glenn, GotM originators, immediately.

.....and we're back......

with the dramatic story of how James Ivaska saved Christmas.
Or, at the very least, the Crackmonkey volleyball season.
The volleyball team was at a crossroads with Tony still on the shelf with his massive internal surgery, and there was talk from the captain about scrapping the season completely. When James heard the woeful tale while drinking at the Blind Pig, he offered to play, and hence we're back. And it certainly will set up a tense match when we play James' old team, who will try to Gillooly one of us.

The team is now 2-0, after last night's 2-nothing win over SCUDMissile, minus the SCUDMissile himself. Beef sustained the first injury, what she deemed a hip pointer, as if she'd have any clue. My diagnosis was a hip bruise.

In true Monkey style, there was a sexual incident, as Jamie ignored Mike's request for oral sex on the court. That didn't stop Mike from attempting it anyways.

Jamie proved once again a capable and enjoyable sub, Jill was as stuck up as always, Alex didn't kill anybody, Beef bitched about her hip, and James wanted to play soccer.

Beers were had, although Beef continues to put coke in hers. So foul.

Kathy rejoins the team next week.
That is all for now, enjoy your week.