Crack Monkey Christmas

The Crack Monkey Christmas Party seemed to be a success in all areas. There was plenty of food (thanks to everyone for helping out), more than enough beverages (can there ever be too much?), and apparently the ritual end to all Crack Monkey parties, explanation and re-enactments of sexual confusions.

We had a lot of fun and were so glad everyone could make it despite the slippery roads and busy holiday schedules. Hope your morning after was better than Macy's, this is what we awoke to:

Las Vegas. April 30-May 3.

mmmmmmmm.......

Well.....we played hard!

After a pretty sluggish game one, the Crackmonkeys rebounded to defeat the #1 team in game two last night, befor succumbing in game three. Pretty close match. Everyone had some highlights. Amber set incredibly well. Emily had some great hits. Alex learned how to say fuck it. Jill was, as always, the steadying force, with dependable passing, and dependable hitting, adjusting to my piss poor sets. And I actually put down a block, and scissor kicked.
Bad things: Amber once again thought I was yelling at her, when I was just talking very excitedly. Alex hurt himself. Jill gave me a revelation that I found quite disturbing.
We are planning a Crackmonkey Christmas. It will be on December 19th. Plan on being a part of it, if you read this blog.
Love you.
Mike

Another Loss

Another for the "L" column this week. Might have been our worst one yet. Though we did enjoy getting together afterwards watching this strange man listen in on our conversations and stare at our table. He even fell asleep at one point. Good times, good times. Or should I say, happy fun times.

Well, this is my first and only blog as I was drafted for this season and now have to go on the injured list as I undergo surgery prior to the next game which leaves me out for the rest of the season.

Good luck team. Thanks for letting me play. If I end up on the other side of the court from you again, I will continue to add my own word after you say monkeys on 3.

Our last volleyball game was a stinker...

I think that sums it up. I'm not particularly pleased. I know Alex wasn't either, and I know Amber wasn't either. So.....a stinker.

Oh well.

Volleyball recaps from the last couple weeks....

We've played with 4 people the last three weeks. I think that's right. But darnit, we just keep winning. Jill, Alex, and Mike have formed the core during those three weeks, providing stability and humor. Emily filled in for a week, and was a good replacement, and may be called upon in the future. Amber got so mad at one point, she nearly killed a man. Mike yelled at a punk kid who tried to break his ankle. And two former students tried to hit on Mrs. Cappa outside of the Leonhard Center.

There have also not been nearly enough drinks. That needs to change. Not this week, but next week.

My love to the softball team, who I missed last night. I didn't miss the softball, but I missed the people.

mc

halloween game

Our last game of the season coincided with dress up for Halloween night which provided great entertainment for the spectators, opposing team, and our own players. The highlights were watching Jamie run through the outfield pregnant and watching Cation try to hit with the mask on. My personal highlight was my in the park home run. Some of you (Scot) can do that every time, but I almost never hook that up.

I enjoyed playing softball with the Sarah Palin family this fall! Thanks for having me. I look forward to the match up next summer between the Crack Monkeys and Astronutz!

Yo, Woody....

Can a brother get a freaking recap up in this joint??? Seriously.

Election Party.....

Well again several Monkeys gathered in one location. This time it was to watch election coverage and evidently get obliterated (Thanks for the ride Tyler!).

Tracy hosted the event, had delicious snacks, and generally did the whole hostess thing.

In all seriousness, I don't really know what to say. But it was a mighty special night. I feel genuinely thankful that I got to celebrate it with my friends, even when I got all weepy.

Anyway thanks to everyone who was there.

Also for those that were feeling a bit amorous after last nights events...

Movie Redux....

So more then 2 Crackmonkeys were in one location at one time. That means someone must report on the activities of the evening.

Our motley band of movie goers, marshaled its forces to Boardman's Art Theater.

We watched Religulous. It was thoroughly entertaining, though I suspect not standard fair for everyone. Though I felt is worth the 9 dollars and as a tool to promote dialog.

That all being said, I felt is was a fine time. Those not there were missed.

So we concluded the evening with drinking....probably a bit much for some of us. Tyler was being all whinny about a stuffed up nose! We told him to drink between breaths!

Anyway, there was a movie, some drinking, some pizza, and good times were had by all....

G

Monkies beaten, but unbowed

I got awarded the spirit visor last night for brilliance in running all over the place. This was something I came to regret as I tried to jog up the stairs to my apartment and my legs collapsed. Ok, not really, but that almost happened.

We played a pretty solid game, I felt. But then again, it's hard to know what's going on in the infield when you're spacing out in the outfield. After Mike mixed up the roster, we all proved to be solid utility players, making plays all over and astounding the announcers and cheering section with our abilities.

The other team, after nearly losing by forfeit, showed up and demonstrated their ability to hit the ball hard up the middle, pop it into short outfield, or belt it to the fences, whichever they chose. We demonstrated an ability to get hits but not score.

I think the final score was 12-5, but honestly I forgot to look at the end of the game. Who really cares that much; everyone had a good time and is now looking forward to the costume ball next week.

Oh yeah, it was 29 degrees out.

Here are the costume decisions for the game November 3:

Tracy Lamont as Sarah Palin

Scot Campbell as Todd Palin

Brian "Woody" Woodard as Track Palin, the soldier

Jamie Young as Bristol Palin and her Baby Bump

Micki Hallum as Trig Palin

Michelle Bavester as Piper Palin (and for the life of me, I couldn't find a picture of her licking the baby....but Michelle, she's the one in the white jacket here)

Glenn Westfield as Levi Johnston, the baby daddy

Michelle Ryan as The Moose

Holly Stalcup as The Russians

Mike Cation as John McCain

and Tyler Field as Barack Obama.

Get to work, kids. You have two weeks!

Dear Glenn:

YOU BROKE MICHELLE'S FINGER. NICE FLIPPING JOB.

Jerk.

Volleyball recap from 10/15

The Crackmonkeys came out fired up in game one, jumping out to a big lead, and holding on to win game one.

Game two....not so much.

Game three was a race, which the Crackmonkeys won, knocking off the dreaded Scud Missile team in 3.

It was, in this writer's opinion, some of the worst volleyball ever. Our opponents, SCUD, were big proponents of dumping it over on one, lifting, double contacts, throwing, and other bullshit. Amber got upset that Mr. Sweatpants was so sloppy, and didn't know what he was doing, and swore. Jill and Kathy laughed through the match, especially when SCUD started yelling at sweatpants for being an idiot. Mike laughed through most of it too, until he got tired and sore. Alex was Alex, and played pretty big. And Sarah (welcome to the Monkeys) was scrappy, and took a shot to the head for the team. Good work.

So, the team is 3-1, which is not at all bad.

Recap from last Wednesday's Volleyball

A dubya was posted via forfeit from the opposing team last week... We stuck around a "played" a game with the 5 guys and one girl that showed up.

Significant events...

Mike took a stumble and tumble about the third play of the "game" and was subsequently out for the rest of the evening with an injured ankle.

Alex was intense, per usual.

Jill shrugged a lot according to Mike.

Amber continuously questioned Mike's injury status, meanwhile pulling a back muscle from attempting to hit one of Kathy's fabulous sets.

Emily was there. Quiet, but there. Then told Alex that she was quitting the team.

After the "game," which I have no idea who actually "won," most everyone departed for home. Or booze. Or both.

Edit accordingly, Cation.

Game Recap from Monday night:

Yep.

Also, we lost the game, 9-8.

And the guy didn't apologize.

Also, currently, lefty is looking large, and feeling ill.

Alright......

Who thought this was a good idea?

MAJOR PARTY UPDATE:

There will be jackets.

Recap of Game

So according to Mike I am suppose to recap the game. Well.....I got mad at Cation for yelling at me NUMEROUS times...I asked Scot if he hit two home runs after we scored at home, which Cation said I needed to act cooler and not ask that at the plate....The team we played really likes to talk ALOT.....Something popped in Michelle's butt (would say *ss but still at work)...And I won the spirit award, but there was no Sonic.

So that is all I got...Cation might be adding more in the morning if this is not good enough.

See everyone on Sat.

Mike Cation's additions:
"Something popped in Michelle's butt?"
WOW.

I will not refute any of Holly's comments about me yelling.
I would also like to add that Tyler again came up big in a substitute role, Holly slid in to home, which shocked everyone, considering that her third base coach did not tell her to run.
Woody got some solid shots in as well, as did Micki, Jamie, Michelle Ryan. Woody also looked good in yellow.
I only had one inning where I walked.
Tracy has volunteered to try pitching, but we need to get her to practice.
Also, Jamie is the world's softball champion, just to make sure everyone knows.
That's all.

Kegger

Hi All -

Since Jamie and I have a Sam's membership (we love bulk ANYTHING), it's become our happy duty to purchase the alcohol for the party. Mike said I should consult Glenn on this, but I'm choosing to bring it to the table...

...What kind of beer should be in the keg?

Party Details

I do not know about jackets. Steve from the Champaign Park District is being elusive, and despite having turned in our order form over one month ago, he has not responded to any calls or emails. Next step will be to stop by his front door.

But, outside of that, we are all systems go for this weekend's party on Saturday.
Details are as follows:
Doors open at 5
Most should be there by around 6
Award ceremony at 7.

Alcohol will be provided. We will also have hamburgers. You are encouraged to bring something on the side, but it is certainly not required by any means.

As I said, I would like to hope there will be jackets. There will definitely be awards. I wish I could promise more.

Holly has promised me she will attend.

If you would like to invite a friend, feel free to do so.

There may be bags. There may not be bags.

Any questions, feel free to email mike at mike.cation@gmail.com.

A special shoutout here to Micki's mom. And look for a softball recap from Holly later today.

Case of the Mondays.....

It's Monday and I have a few questions:

1. Where is my snazzy jacket?
2. Ain't there some sort of shindig this weekend?
3. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

That is all.

Thank You

Just wanted to say thank you for the generous gift. Tony and I are in need of a night out after everything that has been going on the last 2 months with Tony's mom. We really appreciate it. It is great to know we have people that care about us here in Champaign. Hopefully we'll be able to get out more now that we're back in town on the weekends. We are especially looking forward to hosting a Crack Monkey function in the near future. Stay tuned.

Strong Comeback

After last week's struggles, the Monkeys rebounded with a victory. Special thanks to Macy and Tony for their cheers and support. Two dedicated fans much better than an army of spectators who didn't seem to know what was going on.

Game ball goes to Amber for playing through her affliction. Thank you for washing your hands thoroughly and often as to keep this 'special gift' to yourself. ** Note ** The game ball may be revoked should any member of the team contract the 'gift'.

Congrats to Jill for a strong first game back. I'm going to steal Reggie's quote and say you're the straw that stirs the Crackmonkey's drink.

Lastly, after my antics last week, the CPD has placed me on double secret probation for 3 weeks. The required 'energy redirection' classes seem to be working. One week of competition sans outburst. I'm trying to take it one day at a time...

Good work Monkeys, let's get 'W' number 2 next week. Hopefully the Cubs will be able to rebound like we did.

HEY LOOK! A WIN!

Scot owns the spirit hat, but I thought I would take care of the recap, because he's too busy texting.

Final score (I think) was Crackmonkeys 10, Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal 8.

Our pitcher did not suck as much as he did the week before, which was obviously a plus.

Other highlights of this week:
-Someone (Tyler?) hit a ball, and hit the catcher in the chest. Ouch. She handled it well.
-Someone on the other team hit a ball foul, and nearly killed a man.
-Micki struck out on two pitches. It was the fastest strikeout I've ever seen in the history of the Crackmonkeys.
-Tyler filled in, and had some spectacularly placed hits, and crucial, crucial RBIs. We appreciate that.
-Holly thought about a throw for four seconds, and then threw the ball four feet in front of her, in to the ground.
-Scot showboated in his opportunity at shortstop. Nobody can blame him. He then came to the bar, texted a bit, and went "home."
-Mike still likes the TS&SA first baseman. And says hello. Note that he walked her twice.
-Everybody came out to the bar, which was great to see.
-Oh, and Brad Wall is now the Juggling advisor in Arizona at his school. He's a step away from being a clown.

As a reminder, EVERYONE VOTE ON THE HALLOWEEN POLL!!!!

Volleyball game #1.

It sucked a lot. Maybe the worst loss in CM history, but....

well, they didn't have an image for "Monkeys will rise again." And I didn't want to use the South will rise again, because, well, that's creepy. No disrespect to my homeys from the south.

But seriously, our game sucked a lot. Alex had an Alex, which was fun for the rest of us, but the referee asked me to calm him down. I asked what I was supposed to do. Classic stuff for Alex and Mike.

We do welcome to the fold Emilie and Kathy, but not Tim.

1st game

After our first game, I was awarded the coveted nasty-ass spirit sun visor, and Cation informed me that I needed to blog about our first game of the season.

We lost a game where we were clearly the better team. Our opposition in slow pitch softball was terrified to swing the bat, and some of the women on their team appeared to be afraid to even stand in the batter's box. It's unfortunate that we lost, and even more unfortunate that they actually seemed excited and proud to have won a game in that fashion.

As we move on to our next game, I intend to both not get picked off of 2nd and join you guys at Hubers afterward!

A note about Scot

Today, Scot asked me to play tennis. We warmed up. As we were about to begin play, Scot decided to take off his shirt, because it was too clingy.

I failed in that I didn't take a picture of this display of manliness/boldness, but I was too blinded by his rippling abs.

That is all.

Another one.....cancelled

Rained out, due to Ike. This game will NOT be made up. So, we're down to a total of six fall league games, which doesn't make me happy, and makes me a little upset that we didn't play LAST week.

Keep it tuned here for future updates on fall league games, and further Crackmonkey activities. Glenn would like to put something together, to capitalize on Micki's dog kicking/cat eating.

Mike

Guaranteed:

This will hit us Sunday/Monday, and we'll be rained out again.

Las Vegas

How would everyone feel about April 30-May 2.

So, our first game gets

rained out.

Bummer.

Tracy, Glenn, and Mike participated in the dinner portion of the Crackmonkey Monday nights, while Glenn and Mike also had the drinks.

Holly was discussed at length.

Michelle and Jamie shopped for paint instead. This is highly disappointing, and makes them seem old and highly domesticated.

Micki....oh, Micki.

A surprise guest appearance was made by Janet Rayfield, also eating dinner at Hubers (edit: let's try Farrens....Mike was thinking of his happy place when he initially wrote this). Nice work.

Other topics discussed at length: Tracy's inability to do any work on excel; extreme coloring; Sarah Palin; Which newscasters are liberal, and which are conservative.

The rest of you were missed.

Leave me alone Mike Cation

Ok, so the only reason I am posting is that Mike came by my office today and made me:) Glenn said anytime 4 or more people get together someone must blog about it...So last night Glenn, Alex, Tracy, and myself had dinner at El Toro. The chips were good, the cheese sauce was amazing, and the company was ok. Just kidding, it was fun hearing about all the tailgating stories. It sounded like everyone behaved since I did not get any complaints from the parking attendants:)

Until my next post....which could be awhile...Have a great week!!

Crackmonkey Dilemna!

So I was wondering will there be more Crackmonkey gatherings? Will there be a cracked out tailgate for that matter, or a Crackmonkey dodgeball team?

Feeling Like I'm Home Again

Got to spend some time with Mike and Glenn this past weekend. Had a grand time. Almost as important, I got my brown CrackMonkey T-shirt. I've been waiting a long time for this thing. I almost cried a little bit.

My top 10 things I miss about Champoo-Banana
10) The 1.8 mile commute.
9) Being able to walk between bars.
8) Lil' Porgy's Chicken.
7) Cost of living.
6) Mandarin Wok Chinese Eggplant in Garlic Sauce.
5) Total freedom.
4) Bamba.
3) Playing softball with the Monkies (and the Nutz).
2) Awesome tickets to Illini sporting events.
1) Watching Mikey's love hate relationship with his "celebrity". :)

All of Michelle's posts in to one:

hey everyone!
thanks to a friend that alex teaches lessons to, we have this sweet pic that captures a still of what was on tv for a few seconds. ny was amazing, we had a great trip, i post pics to flickr but only the one's without me or alex, here's that link:
Flicker

i also put some on facebook, with us in them:
Facebook (note: these can only be viewed with a facebook account)

:)m

Post Two:
hey everyone!

i just posted a sweet pic that a friend sent alex of the 2 seconds we were on tv.
we had an awesome trip, besides the fact that we missed out on movie time, i posted lots of the pics (w/out me or alex) on flickr:
and more with us, on facebook:

Post Three:

i'm retarded

self explanatory.

Mike's Note: Michelle should be commended for her first attempt at posting, and getting a picture posted. I just thought I'd clean it up a little.

T-Shirts Available:

Some of the alternative brown Crackmonkey shirts are still available, for only $10. They are unusable in softball, but a fun shirt that includes the phrase "Flinging poo since 2001" on the back. Let Mike know. They're freshly washed.

How long will it take Holly Stalcup to read this blog?

Holly has been extremely reticent to join the CrackMonkey blog, so much so, that she hasn't even checked the site.

STAY TUNED!

Holly....you may either post, or comment to let us know that you've checked it.

Famous Crackmonkeys!

For those of you who diligently watched the Ryler DeHeart/Rafael Nadal second-round US Open match Thursday night, you probably saw two of our very own Crackmonkeys! Alex "Vosster" Voss and Michelle Webb "WebbVoss" Voss were sighted in Ryler's friends box next to such notables as Craig Tiley, Brad Dancer, Rajeev Ram, Chris Martin and Phil Stolt, plus Ryler's fiancee.

I've searched the interwebs for photos of this occurrence, but you're just going to have to go with me on this because apparently nobody from the USTA or AP took any pics of
these stars. But it's not every day that most of us (except for Cation) get on TV, so I thought it was pretty cool. I still think one of them should've run over and yelled "Oskee-wow-wow" or something when the USA network reporter was interviewing Craig and Ryler's fiancee.

CrackMonkey Tropic Thunder Viewing

In attendance: Michelle Ryan, Micki, Stacy (i assume its a y....), Glenn, and Mike.

My quick review: Totally, and completely wrong, and unbelievably funny. I still think that Tom Cruise is a wack job, but at the same time, he completely stole the movie for me. Also, I still don't like Ben Stiller, nor do I enjoy Jack Black. But it was well, well worth it.

Here is why Scot missed our last game

This is why Scot missed our last game.

Nice dedication, Scot.

Nice dedication.

Next time you're out surfing, you'll be able to do so in a much more fashionable Champions jacket.

Weird....

Not having a game on Sunday night....I didn't know what to do with myself....

So I ordered a pizza and played video games!

It's Official!!!!

Managers-
Congratulations on winning the league. I've attached the league champions jacket award order form. Please mail or drop off the form to the Leonhard Recreation Center (address below). Order forms must be submitted by September 19th.

Oooh, he so corny!!!

Congrats to our star pitcher and now champion corn eater, Mike Cation. Just moments ago, he out-ate (Kevin's words) WCIA's Jennifer Ketchmark on live TV!

Update from Mike:

Those were actually my words!!!

And I ate the ear of corn in less than 30 seconds!!!

Fall Season Schedule:

We'll eventually put this in the top left corner, but here it is:
Sept 8 - vs. Wicked Hittahs 9pm, dodds 2
Sept 15 - vs. Weldon Pest Control 9pm, dodds 2
Sept 22 - at Coed Crushers 7pm dodds 2
Sept 29 - vs Twisted Steel & Sex Appeal (and their very nice first baseman) 8pm, dodds 2
Oct 6 - at Pia's Bombs 7pm, dodds 2
Oct 13 - vs. Mike N Molly's Shovel Burns 8pm, dodds 2
Oct 20 - at Kam's West 6:15pm, dodds 2
Oct 27 - Rain make up if necessary, HALLOWEEN GAME!!!

In honor of us being in the same league as TS&SA, I give you this:
That's what popped up with a GIS for Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal.

Last Dance Recap

Wow, I am the lucky one that gets to re-cap the final game of the season. I am typing this as I sit here wearing the yellowed, smelly spirit hat....


August 17, 2008---

It all started with a large nip of the Captain. That's what I needed to play shortstop against men anyway. This game was very unlike the others. It had been balls to the wall, nerve wracking competition (as much as rec ball can be) for the previous few weeks. It was do or die as each victory brought us closer to those elusive Champaign Park District jackets. Finally, we had clenched those jackets and we could now have some fun.

It was a lineup very unlike our previous ones. Our fearless leader Mike Cation just wanted to have some fun and didn't care if we won. Besides, we had little hope for victory as we were playing without Scot, Holly and Cherv. So, we mixed things up by putting people in random positons and thanks to Title IV, we played with more girls than guys. Here are the highlights:

• We had to quickly learn the "names" of our new teammates
• This was blown when Michelle Ryan introduced herself to "Taylor" while standing on first
• Alex made his second start without a single walk thanks to a new relaxation technique
• Mike managed to make an amazing out without really catching a ball
• I ran the wrong direction when attempting to field the first ball hit to me
• The other team cried foul when they thought we batted two men in a row, Micki quickly dispelled this myth by offerring to show them her new relaxation technique
• We celebrated at Rocks and showed our age by asking them to turn the music down
• We learned that their potato skins are made primarily of onions

Do to my extra snort of Captain, I'm having trouble coming up with more highlights. HELP!

I don't want you to be lonely, Mike...

...so I'm posting. Go Monkeys! Oh wait, we already won.

Waiting for my jacket,

The Scratch and Stick Sniffer

Photo time

Sorry Scot. You get in the next one.

Hi CrackMonkeys!

OK, so, we've got our own blog. Now we have to add things to it. Jamie, you'll need to post the first recap of our last game.